Here is your Joke for Friday, 01/20/2017

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Here is your Joke for
Friday, 01/20/2017

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Oh, Those Bad Men

Oh, Those Bad MenHow many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?Both of them. Why did the man cross the road?He heard the chicken was a slut.Why don't women blink during foreplay?There isn't time.Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?They won't stop to ask…
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Chemistry Song

Chemistry SongI'm Dreaming of a White PrecipitateI'm dreaming of a white precipitatejust like the ones I used to makeWhere the colors are vividand the chemist is lividto see impurities in the snow.I'm dreaming of a white precipitatewith every chemistry test I writeMay...

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A New Christmas Tradition

A New Christmas TraditionOne particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was...

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Newfoundland, My Newfoundland

Newfoundland, My Newfoundland(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood...

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The Wrinkled Nightgown

The Wrinkled NightgownA man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through...

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How to Mess with the IRS Next Year

How to Mess with the IRS Next Year(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail...

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What is the time?

What is the time?A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital...

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A practical joke involving jello

A practical joke involving jelloHere's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow,...

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Tax Plan for Your 2012 Taxes

Tax Plan for Your 2012 TaxesEnclosed is my 2012 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives.In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet...

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Oh the Internet is Slow

Oh the Internet is Slow The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping;...

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