Here is your Joke for Wednesday, 02/22/2017

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Here is your Joke for
Wednesday, 02/22/2017

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He’s the Taxman

He's the TaxmanThe local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would…
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Newfoundland, My Newfoundland

Newfoundland, My Newfoundland(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood...

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The Wrinkled Nightgown

The Wrinkled NightgownA man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through...

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How to Mess with the IRS Next Year

How to Mess with the IRS Next Year(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail...

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What is the time?

What is the time?A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital...

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A practical joke involving jello

A practical joke involving jelloHere's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow,...

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Tax Plan for Your 2012 Taxes

Tax Plan for Your 2012 TaxesEnclosed is my 2012 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives.In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet...

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Oh the Internet is Slow

Oh the Internet is Slow The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping;...

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Even More Insults!

Even More Insults!Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified. You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse! Do you have...

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The Biology Song

The Biology Song A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultures fuzzy, the mice in repose. The oven kept warm the...

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