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Some Bumper Stickers

* Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.* Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?* He who laughs last thinks slowest.* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at...
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Short Story

The blonde college girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible for her English class and the instructions were that it had to include Religion, Sexuality and Mystery. She was the only one who received an A+. This is what she wrote: “Good...
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Other Side

Other Side It was very crowded and noisy in this restaurant and this blond girl asks the waiter where the restroom was. The waiter replies, “I can’t hear you!” So the blonde gets close to his ear and asks again, “Can you please tell me where the...
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Blonde Susan

Susan pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure her Labrador Retriever had fresh air. He was stretched out on the back seat, and Susan wanted to impress upon him that he must remain there. She walked to the curb backward, pointing...
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Blonde and Public Works

A blonde woman who had been unemployed for several months finally got a job with Public Works. This was a little old town, so her job was to paint lines down the center of a rural road using a paint brush. The Supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she...
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How to Fix Dents

A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hailstorm. Huge hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of dents. She drove to the body shop and asked what she should do. The body man explained what needed to be done and...
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Prize Winner

A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drinking it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peal off prize. She pull off the tab and yells, “I WON! I WON! I WON a motor home! I WON a motor home!” The waitress runs over and says,...
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Perplexing Questions

Answers to some of life’s most perplexing questions: How do men exercise on the beach?By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?ONE – He just holds it up there and waits for the world to...
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Problem Solved

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should...
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Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted ‘Crazy’ then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker...
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Solution

Blonde Miss Nuts at a party was telling her friend that she’d gone off men for life. “They lie, they cheat, and they’re just no good,” she moaned. “From now on when I want sex, I’m going to use my tried and tested plastic...
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Blonde Fishing

A blonde is driving on the highway. She looks over and sees another blonde in a wheat field, rowing a boat. She stops and gets out of her car and says, “What are you doing out there?” The blonde in the wheat field replies, “Fishing.” Blonde #1...
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Something Wrong

The high school, blonde and bosomy cheerleader confessed to her kindly old Priest that she’d often have sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car. “Now my daughter,” consoled the Priest, “I’m sure if you think about it,...
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Short Orders

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. For the sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated code word. The brunette walks up to the bartender and says, “Hey give me an ML.” The bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller...
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Hey! Wanna Hear a Blonde Joke?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.” “The...
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The Competition

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were competing in the English Channel Breast Stroke Competition. The redhead won, and the brunette came in second. However, there was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by, causing grave concern and worry. Just as...
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Froze

Froze Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see “Closed for the Winter.”
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The Car

The Car A blonde and a brunette were talking, and the blonde was very stressed. The brunette asked her what was the matter. The blonde proceeded to tell her that she really needed to sell her car, but no one would buy because it has 100,000 miles on it. The brunette...
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Missed Communication

Missed Communication Two guys were sitting at a restaurant talking. The first guy looks at his friend and says, “You know, a funny thing happened to me today at the bus station. I saw this beautiful blonde behind the counter, and instead of saying,...
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Mall Tragedy

Mall Tragedy Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
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