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Virus Warning: Missus

Virus Warning: Missus DescriptionMissus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV it is a remote hijacker, targeted at unsuspecting male humanoids. There may be problems with pop-ups. VariantsGirlfriend 1.0 was the first...
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Is Windows a virus?

Is Windows a virus? With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are begin to ask themselves if windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the...
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Error codes in Windows

Error codes in Windows WinErr 001: Windows loaded – System in dangerWinErr 002: No Error – YetWinErr 003: Dynamic linking error – Your mistake is now in every fileWinErr 004: Erroneous error – Nothing is wrongWinErr 005: Multitasking attempted...
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Mr. Gorsky

Mr. Gorsky On July 20, 1969, As Commander Of The Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong Was The First Person To Set Foot On The Moon. His First Words After Stepping On The Moon, “that’s One Small Step For Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind,” Were...
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Mailing List Users Changing Light Bulbs

Mailing List Users Changing Light Bulbs Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hundred. 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed. 7 to share similar experiences...
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Murphy’s Work Laws

Murphy’s Work Laws A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go...
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Floppy Disk Care

Floppy Disk Care For those of use this using floppies… By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the...
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Would you define OCR?

Would you define OCR? OCR – Optical Character Recognition A technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they’re in the right font, using the correct colors sometimes, at the right point size and pitch,...
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I have a Microsoft Waiter

I have a Microsoft Waiter Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time. Patron: No, it’s...
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Wise Cooking Advice

Wise Cooking Advice This weekend, I discovered a cooking tip I haven’t seen listed in any cookbooks. While you are preparing the food, and after the guests have arrived, you contrive to fill the house up with smoke, preferably enough to get at least two smoke...
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Japanese Standard

Japanese Standard This speaks a lot about the quality of Japanese products and their quality standards. They’re still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the...
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A Guide to Walking Tigers

A Guide to Walking Tigers Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not...
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Possible IBM Acronyms

Possible IBM Acronyms IBM: It’s Being MendedIBM: Inmense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It’s Better than Macintosh!IBM: Idiots Built MeIBM: Intense Bowel MovementIBM: Inferior But Marketable?IBM: I’ve Been MisleadIBM: It’s Better...
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