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Date Application

Application to date our daughter Place your Photo here. Name ____________________Date of birth _______________ Address ____________________Phone Number _______________S.S. Number _______________ Mother’s name _____________Father’s name ______________ Do...
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The Reasons Why It’s Great to be a Girl:

Free dinners. You can cry without pretending there’s something in your contact. Speeding ticket? What’s that? You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports. If you’re a lousy athlete, you don’t have to question your...
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Braggart

It wasn’t until their second date that Debbie realized that John was a braggart. They were doubling with another couple for dinner, and John said to her: “Instead of dessert, how about we just go to my place, and I’ll slip ya nine inches.”...
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Advise

Mrs. Swensen and Mrs. Schwartz were sitting around the lunchroom table at the senior citizens center. “So, Mrs. Swensen. What’s nu?” “Well” said Mrs. Swensen, “Last night I went out with Mr. Stein, and he was such a gentleman. Why,...
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Curious

“I’m really curious,” said the fellow to his buddy. “Level with me, Did you somehow manage to get laid last night on your date with the Siamese twins?” “To be frank with you,” replied the buddy, “yes and...
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Daddy’s Golf Balls

A fellow was dating a girl and the first time he went to her parents home she took him into the den where all her father’s hunting trophies were displayed. There were deer antlers and bear heads all over the walls. The fellow said, “Your father must be...
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Dictionary for Women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the...
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Cybersex

TOP 10 REASONS WHY CYBER SEX IS BETTER 10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier then changing your real name. 9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional. 8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard. 7. You can...
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Just a Bit

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and...
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Big

Matters had progressed to the point where the freshman and his date were naked in the motel bed when the girl had a change of heart. “I suppose you’re going to tell me now that you’re waiting for ‘Mr. Right’,” he said dejectedly....
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25 Ways to get Rid of a Blind Date

1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your...
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Dating Signs

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those tiny giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize – and decode – these key “signs.” 1. Woman won’t unlock car...
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At Work

THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN’T! 1. Ahhh…I see the f$#*-up fairy has visited us again.2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.3. How about never? Is never good for you?4. I see...
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Objection

Joel had a blind date for the prom and, as the evening progressed, he found himself attracted to her more and more. After some really passionate embracing, he said, “Tell me, do you object to making love?” “That’s something I’ve never...
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Comeback Lines

HE: I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours!SHE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours!!! HE: Hi!didn’t we go on a date once? or was it twice?SHE: Must’ve been once. I never make the same...
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Pre-nuptial Agreement

I, the undersigned, agree that: 1. In the highly unlikely event of my not having an orgasm after you’ve drunkenly rolled on top of me, as is entirely normal and in accordance with the natural order of things, and pumped away for two minutes, wheezing like an old...
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Like a Baby

Man and a woman had been dating for about a year and their relationship was taking a turn towards getting serious. Man proposed and she accepted, however she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a baby. He said that he loved her and that...
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