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A New Christmas Tradition

A New Christmas Tradition One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip… but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa...
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The Biology Song

The Biology Song A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultures fuzzy, the mice in repose. The oven kept warm the...
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A practical joke involving jello

A practical joke involving jello Here’s a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party: A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to...
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Oh the Internet is Slow

Oh the Internet is Slow The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it’s so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn’t show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are...
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Newfoundland, My Newfoundland

Newfoundland, My Newfoundland(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection’s cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and...
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The Bucking Bronco

The Bucking Bronco A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel. Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for...
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Alaskan Birthday Party

Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total...
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One Halloween

One Halloween One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, “thumpety thump,...
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Birthday Party

Birthday Party A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all out….. a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would...
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Credit Card Fun

Credit Card Fun A man received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too. The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note...
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The Cat’s Chalkboard Assignments

The Cat’s Chalkboard Assignments In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food.Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human’s homework,...
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Understand Women

Understand Women A man sat at the bar totally dejected. The bartender served him his second drink and said, “What’s wrong pal ?” “I’ll never understand women. The other night my wife threw me a birthday party. She told me that later on,...
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Redneck 101

Redneck 101 The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part of a math...
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Boys and Girls

Boys and Girls “Equal” is not always synonymous with “the same.” Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same. 1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and...
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Top 10 Reasons To Like Hanukkah

Top 10 Reasons To Like Hanukkah 10. No roof damage from reindeer.9. Never a silent night when you’re among your Jewish loved ones. 8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it.7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on...
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