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The Bucking Bronco

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel. Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for being the toughest...
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How Insulting

We know that you would give your life for us. Promise! When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I’ll say it was your stupidity. Well, I’ll see you in my dreams — if I eat too much. Hey, I remember you when you had only...
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The Resume Bloopers

These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: 1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience. 2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms. 3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the...
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Creative Wording

BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let’s say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. A cousin...
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New Horse

Mr. Jones was strolling through the country when he saw a stable with the most beautiful horse he ever laid eyes on. It was seventeen hands high and white, with rippling muscles and a fine, flowing mane. Mr. Jones struck a deal to buy it from the owner who did,...
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Farm Animal Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet?To stamp out forest fires! Why did the pig go to the casino?To play the slop machine! What is a pigs favorite ballet?Swine Lake! What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?Pooched eggs! How do you stop a rooster crowing on Sunday?Eat...
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A Group of…

Now you know, add these terms to your vocabulary and be the hit of the party when watching Animal Planet TV shows! A group of antelope is called a herd. A group of ants is called an army or a colony. A group of apes is called a shrewdness. A group of baboons is called...
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Things to Remember During a War

1. The only things more accurate than enemy fire is friendly fire. 2. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 3. Teamwork is essential. It gives them more targets to shoot at. 4. No inspection-ready unit ever passed combat. 5. No combat-ready unit ever...
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Ideas About Science

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain’s contention that the ‘most interesting information comes from children, for they tell...
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New Truck

I bought a new Ford F250 Tri-Flex-Fuel Truck. It runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85. Yesterday, I returned to the dealer because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated. “Nelson,”...
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Staring

A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is staring at the horse, when the horse says, “Hey buddy? What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?” The guy says, “No,...
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Swollen Foot

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse. “I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him. The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses...
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Cowboy Tombstone

TWO THINGS I LOVE MOST,GOOD HORSES AND BEAUTIFULWOMEN, AND WHEN I DIE I HOPETHEY TAN THIS OLD HIDE OF MINEAND MAKE IT INTO A LADIES RIDINGSADDLE, SO I CAN REST IN PEACEBETWEEN THE TWO THINGS I LOVEMOST. Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan,...
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The Country Girl is a Virgin

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking they came upon the 2 horses that were mating....
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Tampons

Three men were headed of to serve jail time. They all got in a bus, sat down, and began talking about what they brought to keep them busy. The first man said, I brought a deck of cards so I can practice doing tricks and get really good. The second man said, I brought...
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Two Horses

Two Horses Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they...
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Horse Races

Horse Races Three racehorses were standing in a stable bragging to each other one day. The first horse boasts “I’ve been in 59 races and I’ve won 35 of them.” “That’s nothing,” says the second horse. “I’ve raced 97...
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The Horse Race

The Horse Race Line-up:1.Passionate Lady2.Bare Belly3.Silk Panties4.Conscience5.Jockey Shorts6.Clean Sheets7.Thighs8.Big Dick9.Heavy Bosom10.Merry Cherry THEY’RE OFF!!!Conscience is left behind at the gate. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry....
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The Chicken and the Horse

The Chicken and the Horse A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found....
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