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Bravest Troops

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They decided to settle the dispute using an enlisted man from each branch. The Army General called a private over and ordered him to climb to the top of the base flagpole...
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Something Missing

When George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops, there were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters...
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Sarge

The Marine Drill Instructor noticed a new recruit and barked at him, ‘Get your ass over here ! What’s your name?” “Paul,” the new recruit replied. “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy bull-shit they’re...
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C-141

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot’s preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft’s latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and an...
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Useful Military Warnings

“Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on U.S. Rocket Launcher “When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.” – U.S. Army “Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always...
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Penguin Game

An Argentinian newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationed on the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous new game. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, the pilots search out a beach where the birds are...
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Play the Office Game

Here’s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINT Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming...
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Car Break Trouble

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash...
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Gags for the Office Drone

Run one lap around the office at top speedGroan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other ‘no-player’ must be in the bathroom at the time)Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to youPhone someone in the office you...
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A Group of…

Now you know, add these terms to your vocabulary and be the hit of the party when watching Animal Planet TV shows! A group of antelope is called a herd. A group of ants is called an army or a colony. A group of apes is called a shrewdness. A group of baboons is called...
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Several years ago

President Bush was visiting an elementary school today and when he visited a class in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word,...
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Penis List – Part II

The Nintendo Penis: Now you’re playing with power.The Robitussin Penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.The Robutussin Penis II: Recommended by Dr. Mom…The Crest Penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.The THX...
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Wrong Signs

An Army chaplain, walking through a notorious section of town, saw a soldier exiting a known house of prostitution. The soldier paused on the sidewalk and gestured with his right hand in a manner familiar to the good Catholic chaplain. The chaplain promptly approached...
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Happy 4th of July 2010

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?The Americans licked the British! Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?Because the horse was too heavy to carry! Why did the British cross the Atlantic?To get to the other tide! What do you call a...
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Inside Smells

A Marine and a Army soldier were at a barber shop getting a haircut and shave. When the barbers were done they got the after shave to slap on their face and neck. The Marine yelled “don’t put that crap on me cause my wife will think I have been in a...
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Turkey Trivia!

Turkey Trivia! A wild turkey has excellent vision and hearing. Their field of vision is about 270 degrees. This is the main reason they continue to elude some hunters. Turkeys can drown if they look up when it is raining. Turkeys spend the night in trees. They fly to...
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No Use

No Use In a Military unit, there was a spurt of Venereal Diseases. The Commanding Officer called the Medical Officer and asked him to educate the troops on how to prevent it. The doctor gave a lecture to the troops, explaining the horrid effects of VD and told them to...
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Talking Dog

Talking Dog A man tried to sell his neighbor a new dog. “This is a talking dog,” he said, “and you can have him for five dollars.” The neighbor said, “Who do you think you’re kidding with this talking dog stuff? There’s no...
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Protocol

Protocol During WWII, an American Army Captain stationed in England met and fell in love with a British Lieutenant in the WRENS. After a whirlwind courtship, they became engaged and his fiancĂ©e wanted him to spend the weekend at her parents’ home in the country...
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