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Even More Good News Bad News

The doctor tells his patient “I have good news and bad news for you, which would you like to hear first?”The hospital patient asks for the bad news first.”I have the results of your examination of your injuries to both your feet and we’re going...
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Old Age Disease

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t...
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Beaten Up

Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying a Passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the photograph fell down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically and found the same on the floor of the...
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Church Work

A young man had completed medical school. He went back home to the small town to work with his father. They went out the first day to make house calls. As they went in the first house the father said now you watch me so you will know what to do.Inside a woman was in...
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Miss me?

I was hospitalized for a few days, and my wife reported that my dog really missed me. “She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return,” she said.”What an example of true love,” I replied. “I wonder if you’d be that...
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WE are in Trouble…

The population of this country is 300 million.. 160 million are retired. That leaves 140 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 55 million to do the work. Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 20 million...
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Taylor

Body: This woman was in the hospital and her doctor said, “Congratulations this is your 10th baby! What are you going to name it?”The lady responded “Taylor””Taylor? But you named your last nine kids Taylor””well” the...
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Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods should change his name to Tomcat or Cheetah Woods.Six girl friends in the last year, 18 holes, think about it…After carefully scrutiny and a comprehensive medical evaluation of Tiger’s injuries, a team of Doctors has concluded definitively that...
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Let there be Light

At age 83, Granddad was admitted to the hospital for the first time. “What is this?” he asked, as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow. “That’s the bell, Granddad,” I replied.He pulled it several times, then remarked,...
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Well he asked!

A professor at Glasgow University was giving a lecture on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical students.Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young...
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More Good News and Bad News

Two asparagus were walking down the street when a car hit one of them. He was taken to the hospital. When the doctor came out he said to the other asparagus, “I have good news and bad news, the good news is that your friend died. The bad news is that if your...
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ER Sign

At the emergency ward in the hospital, there were always too many visitors, inspite of requests by the doctor and the staff.The number of visitors reduced when the doctor put up the board, “Warning – Trespassers will be operated on”
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Coffee

Jim was in a terrible wreck. He was taken to the hospital where he remained comatose for two weeks and when he awake he was ravenous. Finding the call button he rang for the nurse and asked if he could have something to eat.She told him, “You have a broken jaw...
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Motorcycle Accident

One day, two men named Bill and Steve were taking a ride on their motorcycles All of a sudden, Bill lost control and hit a telephone pole, tearing off theleft half of his body. He was immediately rushed to the hospital while Stevewaited anxiously to hear if he would...
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