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Somewhere in CA

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the...
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More Lawyer Jokes

What’s the difference between Darth Maul, Darth Vader, and Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies?None. They’ve yet to open their own law firm.What do lawyers follow?The Dark side of the Force.Mark Twain said: “We have no professional criminal...
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Civics Test

If you find twenty dollars lying in the middle of the road, would you:(A. Give it to an honest lawyer,(B. Give it to an honest politician,(C. Keep it.The correct answer is:(C. Keep it because there’s no such thing as an honest lawyer or an honest...
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Cannibal Jokes

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods…..When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone’s eaten…….What is a...
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BP Oil Spill Jokes

Late-Night Jokes About the BP Oil Spill Disaster in the GulfBy Daniel Kurtzman, About.com Guidehttp://politicalhumor.about.com/od/currentevents/a/oil-spill-jokes.htm”The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That’s like someone...
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Honeymoon is Over

Here are the key indicators of when the honeymoon period has finished.1. AddictionsBefore: You tell her you don’t mind the occasional cold beer on a hot day with your mates, and that you’ve taken recreational drugs but those days are well and truly...
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Men Talk

How to talk about men and still be politically correct…He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.He does not get...
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Questions from Arizona

Let me see if I got this right!!! If you cross the north Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard Labor. If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely. If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot. If you cross the Saudi...
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Caca

A Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the he turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’ The little girl, who had just opened...
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Can you Imagine?

Can you imagine working for the following company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics: – 29 have been accused of spousal abuse. – 7 have been arrested for fraud- 19 have been accused of passing bad checks. – 117 have...
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New Position

A happy couple went on a cruise for their honeymoon. The couple’s conversation headed towards political and international events. The husband asked, “Honey. What do you think about the Middle East position.”His wife replied, “I don’t...
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Far off

The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away, his full annually benefits PLUS $10,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general’s...
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No Talk

Stuck in a strange city by bad weather, the drinker was bored. He sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation, turned to bartender and said, “Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress . . “”Stop — I don’t permit talk about...
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Hoya

It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and...
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