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What your car says about you

What your car says about you Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires. Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states. Cadillac Eldorado – I am a very good Mary Kay salesman. Cadillac Seville – I am a pimp. Chevrolet Camaro – I...
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Parent Home

Parent Home A door-to-door salesman is working a neighborhood and walks up to a house, knocks on the door and a thirteen year-old boy answers the door. The boy has a cigar in one hand, a martini in the other and is wearing a rather expensive smoking jacket. The...
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Shorts

Shorts Customer to computer salesman. “I would like to return my laptop. My cat is jealous of it “ Young women to friend. “I finally popped the question to David: “When are you going to pick up the tab?” In a Newspaper: “I would...
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Vacuum Salesman

Vacuum Salesman This salesman selling vacuum cleaners is going from door to door trying to flog them to unsuspecting housewives. He goes to this new estate hoping to have some luck there. Carrying his cleaner up to the door and holding a bunch of goodies in his other...
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Death Wish

Death Wish Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they came upon this harem with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in. “I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch...
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Father Home

Father Home A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year old Little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, “Little boy, is your father home?” Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, “What do you...
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Handy telephone tip:

Handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up.
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Breakfast

Breakfast A traveling salesman went down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast on the second morning of his latest business trip. After being seated by the hostess, he waved off the menu, apparently quite sure of what he hungered for that morning. After all, this was...
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What to do for a Cough

What to do for a Cough John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came...
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Insurance

Insurance Despite his best sales pitch, a life-insurance salesman was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. “I certainly don’t want to frighten you into a decision,” he announced, standing up to leave. “Please sleep on it tonight, and...
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Price?

Price? A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if...
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A Piece

A Piece An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. “Is there something in particular I can show you?” he asked. “Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.” “You mean a sectional sofa,” he...
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Special Golf Ball

Special Golf Ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, “Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!” The golfer, annoyed, says, “What is...
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Real Estate Salesman’s Honesty

Real Estate Salesman’s Honesty “This house,” said the real estate salesman, “has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both. “The disadvantages are that there is a...
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What Happens?

What Happens? What happens when you fall in love with: A chef? (You get buttered up.) A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.) A gambler? (You are cheated) A telephone operator? (Gives you a phone-y line.) A trashman? (Dumps you.) A clockmaker? (Two-times you.) A...
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Job

Job A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. “Well,” he replied, “the pay is good and the hours aren’t bad, but what I like best is that the customer is...
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Salesman

Salesman Morris walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. “We don’t need anyone” they replied. “You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!” “Well we have two prospects that No One has been...
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