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Mall Tragedy

Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
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Children

Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese!
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My wife, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I thought what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her when she said ” Honey, I have some...
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Golf Balls

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s...
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Dents

A blonde left her car out in a hail storm. When the storm was over she checked the car and found out it was covered with small dents. She went to the local garage and inquired how to fix the problem. The mechanic jokingly told her to blow on the tailpipe and the dents...
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A Blonde’s Diet

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned,...
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Two Horses

Two blondes went to the market. While they were there, they each bought a horse. When they got home, they discussed how to tell their horses apart. They decided to cut the tail off of one. That worked for a while, but soon the tail grew back, so they decided that they...
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A Long Flight

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines...
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Blonde Speeder

A policeman stopped a speeding red sports car, and the first thing he noticed was that the driver was a very pretty blonde. He said to her, “You were speeding, can I have a look at your license?” “What’s a license?”, said the blonde,...
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B(l)onds?

A new employee at the stock brokerage saw a knock-out chick slink past. “Whew !” he said. “Exactly what does she do.” “Not very much.”, replied his mentor. “She’s one of our gilt-edged negotiable...
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Finished?

This young stud is out picking up chicks one night. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract a blonde hottie. So they’re back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. Proud of his youth, he forces himself to last as long as possible. He climaxes...
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The Blonde Joke

A guy walks into a bar and starts chatting with a tall, attractive blonde woman. During the course of the conversation he says would you like to hear a ‘blonde’ joke ? “Well”, says the girl, “I’m obviously blonde, I’m 6 feet...
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The Blonde Pilot

A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics...
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Cherry

A father and his three beautiful, blonde, daughters went into a hotel to stay for the night. When the daughters went to check in, they saw a really good looking bell boy. The father caught the three girls looking at him and he threatened to kill the bell boy if he did...
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Visit to the Doctor

The doctor was examining a young blonde model who was having terrible pain in her abdomen. “My dear, you have acute appendicitis,” the doctor said. The woman became quite angry and said, “Don’t try hitting on me doctor, I just want to be...
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Cell Phone

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the...
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Two Sisters and a Bull

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The...
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Fire!

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!” The...
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The Tennis Ball

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing none around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A...
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