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A practical joke involving jello

A practical joke involving jello Here’s a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party: A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to...
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Newfoundland, My Newfoundland

Newfoundland, My Newfoundland(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection’s cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and...
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A New Christmas Tradition

A New Christmas Tradition One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip… but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa...
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The Biology Song

The Biology Song A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultures fuzzy, the mice in repose. The oven kept warm the...
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The Cat’s Chalkboard Assignments

The Cat’s Chalkboard Assignments In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks 1. [xxx] is not food.Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human’s homework,...
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Redneck 101

Redneck 101 The taillight covers of your car are made of tape. Your car has never had a full tank of gas. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. Your momma has ever been involved in a cuss fight with the principal. You think a subdivision is part of a math...
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Another Twisted Greeting Card

Another Twisted Greeting Card It’s Christmas time, and once again, the family’s gathered ’round.Uncles, aunts, and cousins come to raise a joyful sound.All that is, except for you, whom we can only send this mail.But we’ll save your gifts for...
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Christmas Breakfast

Christmas Breakfast This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says, “I’ll just have the eggs benedict.” His order comes a while later and it’s served on a...
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The Cesium Song

The Cesium Song Oh Cesium(Tune, Oh Christmas tree) Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,Thy spectrum doth us please-ium.Thy sky-blue lines in plasma’s fire,Do dreams of icy lakes inspire.Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,Thy spectrum doth us please-ium. Oh Cesium, oh Cesium,When held, you...
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Supreme Court rules no Nativity scene in DC

Supreme Court rules no Nativity scene in DC The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States’ Capital this Christmas season. This isn’t for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in...
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Big Balls

Big Balls They were two of the biggest balls I had ever seen! They hung so heavy and low. I tried lifting them gently, but that wasn’t enough. They had to be pulled, and I pulled on them very very hard. They finally came. I moved them to a higher spot on the...
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Christmasisms

Christmasisms Christmas is in my heart twelve months a year and thanks to credit cards, it’s on my Visa Card Statement twelve months a year also. Some of these new toys are so creative and inventive. This year they have a Neurotic Doll. It’s wound up...
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