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What is the time?

What is the time? A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence....
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Sunburn

Sunburn A doctor is making his rounds in the hospital when he comes upon a guy with the worst case of sunburn he has ever seen. The poor guy is burnt raw from head to toe and is in agony. He says to the doctor, “Is there anything you can give me to ease this...
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Passing an Exam

Passing an Exam Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor...
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Next One

Next One Santa picked up his wife Jeeto and their new baby from the hospital and brought them home. It was not long before Jeeto suggested that Santa try his hand at changing a diaper. “I’m busy,” he said. “I promise I’ll do the next...
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Sick Joke

Sick Joke It’s the first of April, and Joe is out of town on business. He returns home to find out that his wife is at the hospital in labor having their first child. He rushes to the hospital, and goes to his wife’s side. She has already had the child. He...
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Two Fools are about to go Flying

Two Fools are about to go Flying Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms. After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground. Laying...
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Hallucination

Hallucination A guy thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive. His hallucination became a real problem for his family and they finally took him to see a psychiatrist. After spending many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy he was still...
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Job Interview Question

Job Interview Question You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect man...
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Wife’s Tonsils

Wife’s Tonsils A man approached his family physician and said, “Doc, I’m afraid you’ll have to remove my wife’s tonsils one of these days.” The doctor pulled out the family’s medical file and exclaimed, “Why, I removed...
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Transylvania Vacation

Transylvania Vacation Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car....
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Answered Prayers…

Answered Prayers… Tom’s Scrotum – The Best Story of the Year The best story of the year doesn’t give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife. The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation...
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Shingles

Shingles A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, “I got shingles.” She said, “Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you’re done, please take a...
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Mental Hospital

Mental Hospital Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the...
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More Church Bloopers

More Church Bloopers –> The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. –> Tonight’s sermon-“What is hell?” Come early and...
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Even More Church Bloopers

Even More Church Bloopers * Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time. * The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. * The...
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