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Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, “How does the...
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Kidnapped Congress

Kidnapped Congress Downtown DC, January 1st, a driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?” “Terrorists have kidnapped...
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Snail Jokes

Snail Jokes A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back. The host asks him, “And what are you?”The man says, “I’m a snail.”The host says, “And who’s that on your back?”And the man says, “That’s...
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Somewhere in CA

Somewhere in CA A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie,...
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More Lawyer Jokes

More Lawyer Jokes What’s the difference between Darth Maul, Darth Vader, and Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies?None. They’ve yet to open their own law firm. What do lawyers follow?The Dark side of the Force. Mark Twain said: “We have no...
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Civics Test

Civics Test If you find twenty dollars lying in the middle of the road, would you: (A. Give it to an honest lawyer,(B. Give it to an honest politician,(C. Keep it. The correct answer is: (C. Keep it because there’s no such thing as an honest lawyer or an honest...
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Cannibal Jokes

Cannibal Jokes Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?” That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods….. When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone’s...
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Caca

Caca A Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the he turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’ The little girl, who had just...
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Can you Imagine?

Can you Imagine? Can you imagine working for the following company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics: – 29 have been accused of spousal abuse. – 7 have been arrested for fraud– 19 have been accused of passing bad...
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Far off

Far off The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away, his full annually benefits PLUS $10,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring...
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