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Even More Insults!

Even More Insults! Why don’t you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex — and it’s fully justified. You are not as bad as people say — you...
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Alaskan Birthday Party

Alaskan Birthday Party Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total...
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Farmer Joe

Farmer Joe Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at...
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You’re in Big Trouble

You’re in Big Trouble I JUST KNEW I WAS IN BIG TROUBLE AT WORK WHEN… …the new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of me. …the Security guard made a complete inventory of my work area. …my assistant began responding to my memos...
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Speech-Recognition Demo

Speech-Recognition Demo At a recent Sacramento PC User’s Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet...
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Important Position

Importnat Position A company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the country. In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give...
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Lawyer VS. Insurance

Lawyer VS. Insurance This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire...
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C-141

C-141 A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot’s preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft’s latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and...
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Caffeine Addict’s Quiz:

Caffeine Addict’s Quiz: Do you want to know if you suffer from “Alertness Deficit Disorder” (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure...
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Cracking The Human Resource Code

Cracking The Human Resource Code “COMPETITIVE SALARY”Most of our competitors don’t pay much either. “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY”We have no time to train you. “CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”You’ll be here very late, very often...
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Bad Convenience Foods

Bad Convenience Foods The Eight Worst Convenience Foods And I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs … 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be...
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Lawyer Defending a Thief

Lawyer Defending a Thief A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole...
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Software Development Cycle

Software Development Cycle 1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. 2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. 3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs. 4. Testing department finds...
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Winking Problem

Winking Problem A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are...
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Losing Weight

Losing Weight A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign...
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