Here is your Joke for Monday, 05/20/2019
(Press ctrl-D to Bookmark this page)
Here is your Joke for
Monday, 05/20/2019
(Add this to page to your Homescreen)
Travelling Salesman
Travelling SalesmanA salesman was traveling through the country side, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. "Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again. I guarantee it." The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you out…read moreTwas the Night Before Crisis
Twas the night before crisis, And all through the house, Not a program was working, Not even a browse. Programmers were wrung out, Too mindless to care, Knowing chances of cutover Hadn't a prayer. The users were nestled All snug in their beds, While visions of...
read moreA practical joke involving jello
Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks...
read moreOh the Internet is Slow
The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down...
read moreThe Biology Song
A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultures fuzzy, the mice in repose. The oven kept warm the ebola and pox, I...
read moreNewfoundland, My Newfoundland
(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown,...
read moreThe Wrinkled Nightgown
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed...
read moreTax Plan for Your 2018 Taxes
Enclosed is my 2018 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives.In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seatsPlease find enclosed in...
read moreGirlfriend 1.0 Software
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0).Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0, and it's a memory hogger! It has taken all his space; and Wife1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he...
read moreIf Companies Ran Christmas
If IBM ran Christmas...They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time.If Microsoft ran Christmas...Each time you bought an ornament, you...
read moreA New Christmas Tradition
One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the...
read more