Here is your Joke for Tuesday, 04/23/2019
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Here is your Joke for
Tuesday, 04/23/2019
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Fresh Pine Scent
Fresh Pine ScentA woman gets into the elevator after shopping at lunch time. She is returning back to work once the doors close she feels a serious fart coming on. With nobody else in the elevator, she feels comfortable so off she goes and drops a bad one. After having to endure the smell for…read moreA New Christmas Tradition
One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the...
read moreNewfoundland, My Newfoundland
(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown,...
read moreTwas the Night Before Crisis
Twas the night before crisis, And all through the house, Not a program was working, Not even a browse. Programmers were wrung out, Too mindless to care, Knowing chances of cutover Hadn't a prayer. The users were nestled All snug in their beds, While visions of...
read moreThe Wrinkled Nightgown
A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown. Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed...
read moreHow to Mess with the IRS Next Year
(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out...
read moreWhat is the time?
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.Calling out to the...
read moreA practical joke involving jello
Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks...
read moreTax Plan for Your 2018 Taxes
Enclosed is my 2018 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from "USA Today" archives.In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seatsPlease find enclosed in...
read moreOh the Internet is Slow
The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down...
read moreEven More Insults!
Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified. You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon?...
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