Here is your Joke for Thursday, 06/20/2019
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Here is your Joke for
Thursday, 06/20/2019
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A Little Poem…
A Little Poem...THE PERFECT MANThe perfect man is gentleNever cruel or meanHe has a beautiful smileAnd keeps his face so clean.The perfect man likes childrenAnd will raise them by your sideHe will be a good fatherAs well as a good husband to his bride.The perfect man loves cookingCleaning and vacuuming tooHe'll do anything in his…read moreWhat is the time?
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.Calling out to the...
read moreTwas the Night Before Crisis
Twas the night before crisis, And all through the house, Not a program was working, Not even a browse. Programmers were wrung out, Too mindless to care, Knowing chances of cutover Hadn't a prayer. The users were nestled All snug in their beds, While visions of...
read moreHow to Mess with the IRS Next Year
(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of the government to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.) --Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out...
read moreA practical joke involving jello
Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks...
read moreIf Companies Ran Christmas
If IBM ran Christmas...They would want one big Santa, dressed in blue, where kids queue up for their present-processing. Receiving presents would take about 24-36 hours of mainframe processing time.If Microsoft ran Christmas...Each time you bought an ornament, you...
read moreOh the Internet is Slow
The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down...
read moreA New Christmas Tradition
One particular Christmas a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip... but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the...
read moreThe Biology Song
A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultures fuzzy, the mice in repose. The oven kept warm the ebola and pox, I...
read moreNewfoundland, My Newfoundland
(Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection's cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Great faulted blocks came crashing down, and flood basalts the land did drown,...
read moreEven More Insults!
Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified. You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon?...
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