Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied, “Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a ten-year married man looks happy – we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.