Backyard Archaeology

The story behind the letter below is that there is this nutball in Newport, Rhode Island named Scott Williams who digs things out of his backyard and sends the stuff he finds to the Smithsonian Institute, labeling them with scientific names, insisting that they are...

The French Cow Hand

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. “No!” yelled the farmer,...

C-141

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland at midnight. During the pilot’s preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft’s latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and an...

Lawyer VS. Insurance

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars,: then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great...

Caffeine Addict’s Quiz:

Do you want to know if you suffer from “Alertness Deficit Disorder” (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD...

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by...

Don’t Trust Golfing Lawyers

A mafia Don was golfing with two golf associates: a deaf man and his interpreter lawyer. Since the Don was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from his private businesses, he ask the lawyer to ask the deaf man if he was willing to help. This way if he...

Pact with the Devil

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand...

Cracking The Human Resource Code

“COMPETITIVE SALARY”Most of our competitors don’t pay much either. “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY”We have no time to train you. “CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”You’ll be here very late, very often — might as well be...

Bad Convenience Foods

The Eight Worst Convenience FoodsAnd I thought nothing could top Hormel’s pickled eggs … 8. Meeter’s Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that’s sauerkraut juice, which is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh, but...

One Less Lawyer

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is the express degree you told me about?” “It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon,...

Lawyer Defending a Thief

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:”My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense...

Thoughts from Work

Thoughts and stories from on the jobMy boss came in one morning and caught me hugging my secretary. He said in a rage, “Is this what you get paid for ?” I told him, “Nope ! I do this for free.” This same boss was into all this dumb...

A Boy and Math

A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy’s parents were...

Losing Weight

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her...

Six Indisputable Truths for Life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it. 3. And they will discover that #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling now, because you are an idiot. 5. You will soon be forwarding this to another...

Updated Employee Handbook

DRESS CODEIt is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to...

Screwing up a Business

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. “Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” “ONE CENT!” exclaimed the guy, the barman replied “Yes.” So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks...
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