Cowboy Sex

Cowboys

A Texas cowboy and his bride ask the hotel desk clerk for a room, telling him they just got married that morning. “Congratulations!” says the clerk. Looking at the cowboy, he asks, “Would you like the bridal then?” “Naw, thanks,”...

The Bucking Bronco

Animals, Cowboys, Holidays, Horses, Women

A city slicker, named Tommy, was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel. Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for being the toughest...

Even More More Animal Q and A

Animals, Cowboys, Dogs, Elephants, Jungle

Q: Diner: I can’t eat this chicken. Call the manager.A: Waiter: It’s no use. He can’t eat it either.Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?A: The outside.Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?A: A walkie-talkie, of...

Dead Dog

Animals, Cowboys, Dogs, Football, Rednecks, Sports

Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog’s collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by...

Creative Wording

Animals, Business, Cowboys, Horses

BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let’s say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. A cousin...

John Wayne Toilet Paper

Cowboys

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he...

Cowboy and Indian

Cowboys

There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse. He heard a noise, so he looked inside. Lo and behold, there was an Indian down in the hole.The cowboy said, “How long have you been down there in that awful hole?”The Indian replied, “Many...

Somewhere in CA

Animals, Cowboys, Dogs, Internet, Politics

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the...

Cowboy Tombstone

Animals, Cowboys, Horses, Men

TWO THINGS I LOVE MOST,GOOD HORSES AND BEAUTIFULWOMEN, AND WHEN I DIE I HOPETHEY TAN THIS OLD HIDE OF MINEAND MAKE IT INTO A LADIES RIDINGSADDLE, SO I CAN REST IN PEACEBETWEEN THE TWO THINGS I LOVEMOST.Headstone of Russell J. Larsen in the Logan City Cemetery, Logan,...

Christmas Shopping Rules for Men

Animals, Cowboys, Holidays, Men, Religion, Scouting

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.Rule #1: When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to...

Brown Paper

Cowboys

A sheriff walks into a saloon and shouts for everyone’s attention.”Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?””What’s he look like?”, asks one shoddy-looking cowboy.”Well”, replies the Sheriff. “He wears a brown paper hat,...

CowBOYS

Cowboys

These two boys dressed in cowboy outfits, walk into a drug store and ask the lady behind the counter for two hot fudge sundaes. So she puts them together and when she gets to the toppings for the sundaes, she turns and asked the little boys, would you like your nuts...

Slippery when Wet

Cowboys

At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, “That new bull nearly did me in today, partner.””Oh yeah, what happened?””I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got...

Next Life

Animals, Cowboys

Three Texans were in a bar throwing back a few, while they were discussing the meaning of life. The conversation grew deeper and deeper when one of the gents started talking about reincarnation. The trio started considering the possibility of the existence of this...

Indy Wisdom

Cowboys

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?””Yeah,” says the other cowboy.”Look,” says the first one, “he’s...

Rejected Country-Western Song Titles

Cowboys, Drinking, Songs

The Trailer Sure Seems Lonely Now That You and Our Nine Kids Are GoneYou Can Take the Boy Outta the Country, but You Can’t Take the Bullets Outta That Liberal City-Boy Who Just Cut Me Off in His SaabSmells Like Team RopingI Dropped the Bookcase On My...

The Indian

Cowboys

The IndianWhile riding the range one day, a ventriloquist cowboy met an Indian riding along with a dog and a sheep and decided to have some fun with him.Cowboy: “Hey, nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?”Indian: “Dog no talk.”Cowboy:...

Body: Good First Aid

Cowboys

Body: Good First Aid A woman sitting at a restaurant in Texas suddenly began to cough while eating a giant country fried steak. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two cowboys at the next table turned to look at her. “Yall...

Taught

Cowboys, Lawyers, Students, Teachers

TaughtAt the urinal, an accountant, a lawyer and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal.The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands…clear up to his elbows. He used about 20 paper towels before he...

More Random Thoughts

Cowboys, Lawyers

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip’s Screwdriver? Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone asks you, “A penny for your...