Animals, Cats, Dieting, Food
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people — such as getting lots...
Animals, Computers, Dieting, Doctors, Elephants
* You dance and it makes the band skip. * You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live. * You put mayonnaise on an aspirin. * You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. * Your driver’s license says,...
Dieting, Marriage, One Liners, Sex, Silly Sayings
This just in:Saddam’s Response to the Recent Bombings(Baghdad) Following a second day of heavy bombing in and around the Iraqi capital, Saddam Hussein reportedly announced that he is willing to accept censure.========There are two theories to arguing with women....
Dating, Dieting, Dogs, Drinking, Food, Sex, Songs
1. Your potted plants stay alive.2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.5. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.6. You carry an umbrella. You...
Dentists, Dieting, Military
The Nintendo Penis: Now you’re playing with power.The Robitussin Penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.The Robutussin Penis II: Recommended by Dr. Mom…The Crest Penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.The THX...
Dieting, Football, Religion, Sports
“Gobble, gobble, gobble?” ……. Not always!What does …A jewelry-lovin’ turkey say? “Bauble bauble bauble”A dyslexic turkey say? “Boggle Boggle Boggle”A turkey in the shoe repair shop say? “Cobble cobble...
Business, Computers, Dieting, Politics
Oxymorons…47. Act naturally46. Found missing45. Resident alien44. Advanced BASIC43. Genuine imitation42. Airline Food41. Good grief40. Same difference39. Almost exactly38. Government organization37. Sanitary landfill36. Alone together35. Legally drunk34. Silent...