No More Virgins

There was a great eruption of a south sea island volcano, and the witch doctor appealed to the tribal chief, demanding that a virgin be sacrificed to appease the volcano. The chief apologized, “I’ve used up all the virgins myself, so I guess we’ll...

Two Fools are about to go Flying

Two Fools are about to go FlyingTwo morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.Laying next...

Examinations

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor’s office. “We have come for an examination,” said the young girl. “All right,” said the doctor. “Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off.”...

Hallucination

A guy thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His hallucination became a real problem for his family and they finally took him to see a psychiatrist. After spending many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy he was still alive, the...

Out the Door

A doctor taking care of his last appointment of the day gives this man a thorough exam and finds him in optimal health.As the man is going out the door, he had a heart attack and died. The doctor looks at the man and tells the nurse, “help me turn him around to...

Apples

A doctor and a dentist fell in love with a same girl. One day, the dentist had to go abroad for one week to fulfill his work, so he gave the girl seven apples and asked her to eat one apple everyday. Know why?An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Job Interview Question

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been...

Need Glasses

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses.You certainly do, sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Second Opinion

After the doctor gives the patient his diagnosis, the patient says; “Can I have a second opinion?”The doctor says; “Sure. Come back tomorrow.”

Benefits

A man visiting a doctor says; Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment.The doctor replied; but you are not one of my patients.The man said: I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir.

His First Exam

A man went into the proctologist’s office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three...

The Value of Children

Rachel and Esther meet for the first time in fifty years since high school.Rachel begins to tell Esther about her children. “My son is a doctor and he’s got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther,...

Invisible

A psychologist’s secretary comes into the office.Secretary: “There is a man in the lobby who thinks he is invisible.”Doctor: “Tell him I can’t see him today.”

Checkup

While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, “You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say ‘honey?’ Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet...

Time to Live

Patient: Doctor, doctor I have only 58 seconds to live!!!!!!Doctor: I’ll be with you in a minute

Four Letter Words

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.”I’m OK but I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.”What did he say,” asked the nurse....

Hazelnut Daiquiri

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was...

Walking in No Time

Doctor, you were right when you said you’d have me on my feet and walking in no time.That’s good John; when did you start walking?When I got your bill doctor, I had to sell my car to pay it.

Miracle Doctor

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town’s grouch.So Mr. Smith went to this ‘miracle doctor’ to prove that he wasn’t anybody special. So he goes and tells...
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