Farm Accident

Farmers, Food

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon...

Farmer Joe

Animals, Business, Farmers, Lawyers

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene...

The French Cow Hand

Animals, Business, Farmers, Women

There was once a sheep farmer who had a French farm hand working with him to help castrate his sheep. As the farmer castrated the sheep, the French farm hand took the parts and was about to throw them into the trash. “No!” yelled the farmer,...

Louisiana Law

Farmers, Lawyers

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing....

Kenny and the Donkey

Animals, Farmers

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day, so early in the morning he drove over to Kenny’s. Farmer: “Sorry son, I have some bad news, the donkey...

Agriculture Politics

Animals, Business, Farmers, Politics

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Bubba Peterson, over at Alexandria, LA, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What...

Dead Calf

Animals, Farmers

A motorist, driving in the countryside, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road.The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.”Oh, about $300 today,” said the owner. “But in...

Faster

Farmers

FasterThere was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly....

Ploughing the Land

Farmers, Men

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane,...

An American came over to Ireland, the home of his ancestors.

Farmers

He was watching a farmer pick potatoes and he shouted over to him, “Do you know, in America, we grow potatoes this big?” Gesturing his hands about a 18 inches apart.The farmer casually looked up and said, “Well, we grow them to fit our mouths as...

Celebrating an Event

Farmers, Marriage

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.”Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a...

One Amazing Pig

Farmers, Pigs

A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says “Sure, we can put you up.”The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son,...

The Grand Old Burma Shave Road Signs

Drinking, Engineers, Farmers

TRAINS DON’T WANDERALL OVER THE MAP’CAUSE NOBODY SITSIN THE ENGINEER’S LAPBurma ShaveSHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSHBY MISTAKESHE THOUGHT IT WASHER HUSBAND JAKEBurma ShaveRemember these? For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick...

Rabbit

Farmers

A farmer is sitting on his front porch enjoying the beautiful spring day. Rocking back and forth on his rocker, he notices a rabbit hopping across his yard, hopping and nibbling, hopping and nibbling the way rabbits do in the wild. He notices the birds flying from...

The Country Girl is a Virgin

Animals, Farmers, Horses, Sex

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking they came upon the 2 horses that were mating....

In and out

Farmers

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his...

Six-Legged Turkey

Farmers

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his...

Slick Guy

Animals, Farmers

A city boy moved to the country and bought a mule from an old farmer. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news. The mule died.””Well, then, just give me my money...

British!

Doctors, Farmers, Sex

An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself, “Ah, young love… ze spring time, ze air,...

The Angry Clergyman

Farmers, Religion

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. “You look hot, my son,” said the cleric. “Why don’t you rest a moment, and I’ll give you a...