Oh the Internet is Slow

The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it’s so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn’t show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned...

Mailing List Users Changing Light Bulbs

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hundred.1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light...

People Over 34 Should Be Dead

Here’s why.According to today’s regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids in the 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, or even maybe the early 70’s probably shouldn’t have survived. Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored...

Diary of a Computer Lamer

July 18I just tried to connect to America online, which I’ve heard is the best online service I can get. I can’t connect, I don’t know what is wrong.July 19Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don’t see why....

STOP CENSORSHIP of the INTERNET!

This is NOT a JOKE!!!!Jokes2u.com supports free speech and stands against censorship. Contact your elected representatives to stop the Protect IP Act (PIPA) and the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA). Stand with the ECA and against censorship.Visit the Entertainment...

Somewhere in CA

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the...

To those that survived…

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t...

Internet Porn

The Top 12 Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Internet Porn12. During foreplay, he’s always double-clicking your G-spot.11. His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.10. When she wants you to take off your pants, she says,...

Letter from a Computer Widow

My Dear Husband, I am sending you this letter via this internet communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO....

New Year Nerd Resolutions

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU’RE A NERD16. I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er… I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!15. I will stop checking my e-mail at...

How do these People Survive?

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter . “You...

CEO

Steve Jobs has now designated himself as the “iCEO” of Apple, saying that it shows the importance of the Internet.If we assume that this makes him the Executive Internet Officer, and if we further assume that Apple is going to continue the terminally cute...

Driver’s License Info

Can you believe THIS??? Now anyone’s Driver’s License, (including Canadians’), can be viewed on the Internet, including your own! I just searched for mine and there it was… picture and all!Thanks, “Homeland Security”- Where is our...

E-Mail

E-MailAn unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large high tech firm and easily passes an aptitude test.The human resources manager tells him, “You will be hired at minimum wage of...

Woman Bashing

Woman BashingWhy did God create woman?To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?The swallowHow do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?Phone her.Why do women fake orgasms?Because they think men...

A Joke From Peking University

A Joke From Peking UniversityInternet is becoming popularized in China. More and more people have opened an email account. However, there are still some problems with this new media. Mis-delivery is a serious one. Last week a Beida graduate student called Li Na tried...

Light a Candle for Unity!

Light a Candle for Unity!Though terrorists may have struck out at us as Americans, let us come together and show our unity. Let us show that though our arm may have been hurt, they can not dim the heart of America which rages bright.Today at 7:00 pm EST, walk out your...
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