Holidays, Internet, Poems and Rhymes
The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it’s so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn’t show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned... read more
Business, Computers, Dogs, Internet
9. E-mail flames from some guy named “Fluffy.” 8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 7. You find you’ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip. 6. Your mouse has teeth marks in it… and a strange aroma of tuna.... read more
Business, Computers, Internet, Politics, US President
Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to China as of July 1, 2020. The move is being made in order to save the President’s $500,000... read more
Animals, Cowboys, Dogs, Internet, Politics
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the... read more
Baseball, Holidays, Internet, Lawyers, Sports
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t... read more
Blondes, Holidays, Internet, Sports
My Dear Husband, I am sending you this letter via this internet communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO.... read more
Computers, Holidays, Internet, Programmers
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU’RE A NERD16. I resolve… I resolve to… I resolve to, uh… I resolve to, uh, get my, er… I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!15. I will stop checking my e-mail at... read more
Business, Computers, Internet
Steve Jobs has now designated himself as the “iCEO” of Apple, saying that it shows the importance of the Internet.If we assume that this makes him the Executive Internet Officer, and if we further assume that Apple is going to continue the terminally cute... read more
Business, Computers, Farmers, Internet
E-MailAn unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor’s job at a large high tech firm and easily passes an aptitude test.The human resources manager tells him, “You will be hired at minimum wage of... read more
Internet, Students, Teachers
A Joke From Peking UniversityInternet is becoming popularized in China. More and more people have opened an email account. However, there are still some problems with this new media. Mis-delivery is a serious one. Last week a Beida graduate student called Li Na tried... read more
