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Resolutions For Internet Junkies

*I will try to figure out why I “really” need 12 e-mail addresses. *I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated.*I resolve to work with neglected children — my own. *I will answer my snail...
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New Terms

New TermsComputer and Internet terms – What they REALLY mean.Modem: What landscapers do to dem lawns.Token Ring: A virtual engagement gift.Ethernet: A device for catching the Ether Bunny.DataPac: A size 14 girl in a size 8 bikini.Asynch: A place to wash your...
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More Emoticons

More EmoticonsGuys …… we all know there are so many symbols to express our (normal) emotions over the internet/email. But we never had symbols to express certain feelings which are very much a part of our (normal) emotions.Well …. following are some...
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Internet Axioms

Internet Axioms 1. Home is where you hang your @. 2. The email of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Speak...
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Room Service

Room ServiceThe following was nominated for “best e-mail” on the Internet. It’s a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review…..Room Service...
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Cyberwocky

Cyberwocky[a parody of Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky”]’Twas e-mail, and the ftpDid route and telnet to the node.All rlogin to Xterms freeTo let gopher download.”Beware the Internet, my son!The posts that spam, the speech that’s...
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Scroll down thingy

Scroll down thingyThe way this works is you’ve got to maximize your screen and then hold down the scroll down key. It’s pretty fun!This is guaranteed to alleviate pressure momentarily.HOLD THE SCROLL DOWN ARROW AND KEEP GOING* hi people* hi people* hi...
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WORK Virus Warning

WORK Virus WarningThere is a new virus going around, called WORK. If you receive any sort of WORK at all, whether via email, Internet, or simply handed to you by a colleague…DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who...
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Redneck computer terms

Redneck computer termsBACKUP – What you do when you run across a skunk in the woodsBAR CODE – Them’s the fight’n rules down at the local tavernBUG – The reason you give for calling in sickBYTE – What your pit bull dun to cusin...
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Cyberaliases 1

Cyberaliases 1Can you name the celebrity owners for these email cyberaliases? Hint: all of the celebs are deceased 1960’s icons and missed out on surfing the internet. (These are all fake, don’t try to send email to these addresses.) Answers are...
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Signs You’re Addicted to the Net

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.You get a tattoo that reads “This profile best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.1 or higher.”You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom, or they all...
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