Pigmy

Animals, Hunting, Jungle

A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead dinosaur with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: “Did you kill that?”. The pigmy said “Yes.” The hunter asked “How could a little fella like you kill a huge beast like...

Even More More Animal Q and A

Animals, Cowboys, Dogs, Elephants, Jungle

Q: Diner: I can’t eat this chicken. Call the manager.A: Waiter: It’s no use. He can’t eat it either.Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?A: The outside.Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?A: A walkie-talkie, of...

Letter to a Shrink

Animals, Jungle, Sports

Dear Shrink, It haunted me for days, weeks, months, years. I couldn’t sleep at night. The sleep I got was full of nightmares and visions.I fought bout after bout, fight after fight, with plagues of depression and insomnia; paranoia! Just the thought vexed me night...

Hungry Lion

Animals, Jungle

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One man was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other man was typing away on his laptop. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him....

First name – Last name

Jungle

Tarzan leaves the jungle, comes to civilization, and applies for a job.Interviewer: Name?Tarzan: Me, Tarzan.Interviewer: Married?Tarzan: Wife, Jane.Interviewer: Children?Tarzan: Son, boy.Interviewer: Anything else to your name besides Tarzan?Tarzan: Tarzan, King of...

Safari

Animals, Jungle

John came back from a safari in Africa. Upon arrival, he went to his friend Mark, and told him of his adventures. “I was out in the jungle,” he said, “when all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me. Looking back, I saw a huge lion,...

Take it All

Animals, Elephants, Jungle

An elephant is walking in the jungle and gets a thorn stuck in its paw. An ant comes walking by and the elephant asks “Ant, will you take this thorn out of my paw?”.The ant says ” Yes, but only if I can hump your ass.”.The elephant thinks this...

Jungle Transplants

Animals, Elephants, Jungle

Tarzan gets in a terrible fight with a ferocious lion and loses an eye, an arm, and his penis. The animals of the jungle nurse Tarzan back to health. They give him the eye of a hawk, the arm of a gorilla, and for a penis, they give him a baby elephant’s...

Explorer

Jungle

ExplorerThis British explorer is in the dark jungle, going where no Western man has gone before. Accompanying him is his trusted guide, interpreter, cook, and troubleshooter in one. One day early in the morning, they arrive at a lake and find a handsome dark young man...

Mightiest of All Jungle Animals

Animals, Elephants, Jungle

Mightiest of All Jungle AnimalsA lion woke up one morning feeling very rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a smallmonkey and roared, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey said, “You are, mighty lion!” Later,...
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