No Divorce

A couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. “In all that time, did you ever consider divorce?” they were asked.””Oh, no, not divorce,” one said. “Murder sometimes, but never divorce.

Some More Thoughts

1. The only thing worse than being a bachelor is being a bachelor’s son.2. Every man needs a wife because there are a number of things that go wrong that one cannot blame on the government.3. Widows are not the only people who have late husbands.4. For every guy...

Par

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed,about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband,”I have a confession to make, I’m not a virgin.”The husband replies, “That’s no big thing in this day and...

Can We Come Back Tomorrow?

A couple were having marital problems. They decided together to do the right thing and they contacted a marriage guidance counsellor. Several visits followed when lots of questions were asked and lots of listening carried out. Eventually the the counsellor felt that...

Puns

After 30 years of marriage to Florence, Jim the plumber left his wife. The note on the kitchen table simply read “It’s over Flo”.She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for...

How true!

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband’s complaint that he leads a dog’s life is probably well founded.”He comes in the house with muddy feet,” she said, “tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food and...

Speech

A nervous groom is giving his speech at the wedding reception.The Couple had been given a very nice coffee set by her parents.”I’d like to thank you all for coming here to celebrate our wedding. I’d like to thank the beautiful brides maids and...

No Peeking

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink...

Church Bulletin Bloopers

If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing.Congratulations to Tim and Ronda on the birth of their daughter October 12 thru 17.Diana and Don request your presents at their...

Not Men Bashing

This is for men tired of receiving male-bashing jokesHow many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine...

Sufferer

A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asks the wife about the problem. She responds, “My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.”The counselor turns to her husband and inquires “Is that true?”The...

The Wedding Night

Mario and Marie, a nice young couple, were getting married and planned on living with Marie’s mother until they could establish a place of their own. On their wedding night, they went upstairs and were getting ready for bed. Mario started to get undressed,...

Once is Enough

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.”Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,”...

After Ten Years

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.Now after ten years it’s all different. I come home, the dog...

What to Wear with the IRS

A man who was called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied.Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice....

The TRUE Story of Creation…

In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth.And the Earth was without form, and void, And darkness was upon the face of the deep.And the Devil said, “It doesn’t get any better than this.”And so God created Man in His own image; Male and...

Thoughts

Women’s thoughts during love makingKissing/Light PettingWhat she hopes you’re thinking: “Oh, I can’t resist: I’m powerless before your seductive ways!”What she’s afraid you’re thinking: “Cut the soft kissy romance...

You might agree with some of these:

Every woman wants a husband who is handsome, understanding, rich, and loving. But the law allows only one husband.One woman’s hobby is another woman’s hubby.The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.It’s what...
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