What Time Is It at the Airport?

What Time Is It at the Airport?On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, “What time is...

Attention!

Attention!An Air Force guy had just spent an entire year at an isolated tour in Shemya, Alaska. At home again at last, and the first night in the bedroom with his wife, he stood in the middle of the room and stripped naked. His wife, of course, wondered what was going...

Bring in the Boys

Bring in the BoysThis is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Army Lieutenant General Reinwald about sponsoring a Boy Scout Troop on his military installation.Interviewer: “So, LTG Reinwald, what are you going...

Au Pair

Au PairThe young Swedish au pair had been working for the couple for over a year. While pleasant and hardworking, the girl still struggled with English.One day she informed the Lady of the House, that her boyfriend in the Army was coming for a...

More Facts

More Facts The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the “General Purpose”...

Army of the Lord!

Army of the Lord!Jack was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. The preacher grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, “You need to join the Army of the...

Morning Coffee

Morning CoffeeA grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee.She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup.She said,...

The Military

The MilitaryDuring the 60’s, when the draft law could induct most young men into military service, the announcement was made that very few (if any) married men would be drafted, war or not. One Army recruiting office fought back by posting a sign: “Better...

History Lesson

History LessonThe US Standard railroad gauge (distance between rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way the first railways were built in England, and the first US railroads were built...

What Type of Bra

What Type of BraA man walked into the ladies department of a Macy’s, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, “I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.””What type of bra?”...

Who Do I Shoot?

Who Do I Shoot?A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes...

Not The Doctor

Not The DoctorThe first President of the United States from the Bronx calls his mother and invites her to come for Thanksgiving. She says, “I’d like to, but it’s so much trouble. I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, It’s too much...

Mr. President by Dr. Seusses

Mr. President by Dr. SeussesI did not do it in a carI did not do it in a barI did not do it in the darkI did not do it in the parkI did not do it on a dateI did not ever fornicateI did not do it at a danceI did not do it in her pantsI did not get beyond first baseI...

Noah’s Ark… If it happened today

Noah’s Ark… If it happened todayAnd the Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of...
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