Smell the Bacon?

Pigs

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death they are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden… “Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet”. “Si, Luis,...

Nights Before Christmas

Animals, Dogs, Holidays, Men, Pigs, Religion, Seniors

Da nights bepor ChristmasAn all tru da houseNating pasNot eben a mouse.Da children dey nossieall snog on da ploorAn Mama puts newspepperTru da crack on da dor.Den Mama in da stobeRoost up da manukSteer up da adoboAn make bake da biko.Den out on da rudDey got such a...

Farm Animal Jokes

Animals, Dogs, Horses, Pigs

Why do ducks have webbed feet?To stamp out forest fires!Why did the pig go to the casino?To play the slop machine!What is a pigs favorite ballet?Swine Lake!What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog?Pooched eggs!How do you stop a rooster crowing on Sunday?Eat him...

One Amazing Pig

Farmers, Pigs

A homeless man stops at a farmhouse to beg to spend the night. The farmer answers the door and says “Sure, we can put you up.”The vagrant washes up for dinner and meets the family downstairs. Sitting at the dinner table are the farmer, his wife, their son,...

Yummy Pig

Animals, Farmers, Pigs

A farmer was in the pub bragging about his pig. “That animal saved my life twice,” he said. “Once I fell into the river and he jumped in and dragged me to the bank. Another time my house caught on fire and he ran in and saved me, the wife and...

Pig

Pigs

A country preacher was walking the backroads near his church. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and in addition to something to drink, she served him a bowl of soup by the...

You Pig!

Pigs

You Pig!A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?” The judge said that was...

Piggy Bank

Pigs

Piggy BankAs a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table.One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor...

Lucky Pig

Elephants, Football, Pigs, Religion, Sports

Lucky Pig–If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.–If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.–The...
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