A Riddle

I am a protector, sitting on a bridge. One person sees right through me, While others wonder what I hide. What am I?VVVVVVVVANSWER: Sunglasses

A World United

The voices have spoken,loud and clear,from around the world,for all to hear.Each verse heart felt,from souls that cry,with the simple question,Why, Why, Why?May peace soon rule,may all be terror free,may we never write a sequel,to this piece of poetry.”A World...

Family Secret

A young husband returned home to find his new bride preparing to bake a ham. He noticed she had cut off both ends, so he asked her why since it looked like perfectly good ham. She told him, “I learned that from my mother.” He accepted that, ate the ham,...

tWISTED rHYMES

Mary Had A Little Lamb,She also had a duck.She put them on the mantelpieceto see if they would…….talk to each other.Hey diddle, diddle, the cat did a piddle,All over the bedside clock.The little dog laughed to see such funAnd the cat died of electric...

Tax Time Poem

At first I thought this was funny…then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his work, Tax his...

Irish Coffee

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband’s libido. ‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor. ‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’ ‘Not...

A Dieter’s Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care in hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps had just...

Even More Daft Definitions

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.Pokemon (n), A...

Jesus’s Cars

Most people assume WWJD is for “What would Jesus do?”. But the initials really have been changed to stand for “What would Jesus drive?”.One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, “God drove Adam...

It Is Written…

During his sermon one Sunday, the local preacher told his congregation that the entire range of human experience could be found in the Bible. He confidently stated: “If anything can happen to humans, it is described somewhere in the Bible.”After the...

Down Under Rhyme

There was a young man of AustraliaWho painted his ass like a dahlia.The drawing was fine,The color divine,The scent–ah, that was a failure.

Definitions

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and later kills you with his bills.Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.Atom Bomb : An...

Boob Poem

For years and years they told me,Be careful of your breasts.Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them.And give them monthly tests.So I heeded all their warnings,And protected them by law.Guarded them very carefully,And I always wore my bra.After 30 years of astute...

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light, Igazed round the room and I cherished the sight.My wife was asleep, her head on my chest, My daughterbeside me, angelic in rest.Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,Transforming the yard to a winter delight.The...

How about that?

There once was a third grader named Jimmy. Every time the teacher would say something, Jimmy would say, “How about that!”One day, the teacher said, “And then George Washington crossed the Delaware.”Jimmy said, “How about that!”The...
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