Tax Plan for Your 2018 Taxes

Enclosed is my 2018 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from “USA Today” archives.In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seatsPlease find...

Canadian Quarter Recall

Hang on to any of the new Newfoundland quarters. If you have them, they may be worth much more than 25 cents.The Canadian Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Newfoundland quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each...

Words for the Wise

1 . Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?”...

Politics

Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father “Dad,what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow.” The father thought some and said, “Okay, son . The best way I can describe politics is to use...

The Recession is Having an Impact on Everyone

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If...

Albert Einstein

Three men die and are waiting at the Pearly Gates when St. Peter tells them that there will be a slight delay but not to worry that he will have Albert Einstein visit with them during their wait. Albert arrives and introduces himself to the first man and asks,...

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by...

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his...

Agriculture Politics

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Bubba Peterson, over at Alexandria, LA, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What...

Rubio’s Immigration Plan

Rubio discovered that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? Our government can also track her calves to their stalls.However, the government is unable to locate 11 million...

Official Announcement

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of...

Government Spending

The Secret Service scandal was discovered when a disagreement on how much a prostitute wanted for her services came to light. She wanted $800.00. The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00.How ironic is it that the only person in Washington willing to cut spending gets...

Competitive Politics

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, “You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my ‘personal touch.’ For example, I...

Kidnapped Congress

Downtown DC, January 1st, a driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?””Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are...

Snail Jokes

A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back.The host asks him, “And what are you?”The man says, “I’m a snail.”The host says, “And who’s that on your back?”And the man says, “That’s Michelle!”What...

Actual quotes from (actual) Texas politicians:

Actual quotes from (actual) Texas politicians:* “Let’s do this in one foul sweep.” – Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton* “This is unparalyzed in the state’s history.” – Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis* “I want to...
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