Politics, Taxes, US President
Enclosed is my 2018 Form 1040, together with payment. Please take note of the attached article from “USA Today” archives.In the article, you will note that the Pentagon paid $171.50 each for hammers and NASA paid $600.00 each for toilet seatsPlease find...
Dogs, Marriage, Politics, Religion, Sex, US President
1 . Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?”...
Baseball, Business, Drinking, Football, Politics, Songs, Sports
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.Brits: Can’t possibly be mistaken for anyone else when...
Business, Food, Men, Politics, Students, Women
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father “Dad,what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow.” The father thought some and said, “Okay, son . The best way I can describe politics is to use...
Business, Politics, Women
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If...
Business, Politics, US President
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by...
Business, Computers, Drinking, Engineers, Food, Politics, Programmers, Religion, Students
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your...
Business, Computers, Internet, Politics, US President
Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to China as of July 1, 2020. The move is being made in order to save the President’s $500,000...
Animals, Business, Farmers, Politics
TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture Washington, D.C. Dear Sir, My friend, Bubba Peterson, over at Alexandria, LA, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What...
Business, Computers, Drinking, Food, Politics
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted… Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups.9. E Pluribus Modem10. …. File not found. Should I...
