Mr. Gorsky

On July 20, 1969, As Commander Of The Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong Was The First Person To Set Foot On The Moon. His First Words After Stepping On The Moon, “that’s One Small Step For Man, One Giant Leap For Mankind,” Were Televised To...

Baseball in Heaven

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven?” Solomon thinks about it for a minute...

Confucius Proverbs

Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Foolish man give wife grand piano,...

Geometric Logic

Geometric LogicThe Wonder of it All:1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.4. The sport of choice for supervisors is...

Baseball Quote

At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked, a woman called and said, “I need a baseball quote.” I immediately answered with Yogi Berra’s famous “It ain’t over ’til it’s over!” There was a brief moment of silence before...

Things girls think guys should know:

1. Don’t ever lie to us, we always find out.2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.3. Don’t say you understand when you don’t.4. Girls are petty, get over it.5. You don’t have PMS; don’t act like you...

At The Old Ball Game

The President and his family went to a baseball game. As they settled into their seats, the President’s chief of staff leaned over to him and whispered something in his ear. The President looked at him with a surprised expression on his face and whispered...

Four New Fathers

Four New FathersFour expectant fathers are in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their wives were in labor.The nurse comes in and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins.””What a coincidence,” the man...

To those that survived…

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn’t...

Rules from the Male Side

AT LAST a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys’ side of the story(I must admit, it’s pretty good). We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules!...

Reasons

TO MY DEAR WIFE,During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean 17 times it was too late...

Travelling Money

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, “Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much.” The twenty answered, “I’ve been hanging out at the casinos in las vegas, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the...

Are you lonesome tonight?

Elvis Sing AlongAre you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day…When you had all your teeth and your gums?Is your hairline receding? Are your eyes growing dim?Hysterectomy...

You Were A Good Man Charlie Brown

The doghouse sits silentThe pitcher’s mound tooLinus cries in his blanketThe whole world cries tooThe round-headed kidwhose life was disdainWill never feed SnoopyOr play baseball againI watched him stay humbleAt Halloween timeWhen rocks filled his bagHis...

Dating Signs

The trick to successful dating is learning how to interpret the hidden signs, those tiny giveaway gestures that can tell you so much about a person. Train yourself to recognize – and decode – these key “signs.” 1. Woman won’t unlock car...

Mom said so:

OLD MOTHER HUBBARD’S MOTHER: I don’t care, I am not helping you raise all your kids, and who are the fathers? What are they doing to help support them?PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight...
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