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The Top 11 Signs Your Computer is Possessed

11. Instead of flying appliances, your screen saver shows horned demons torturing your immediate family.

10. The monitor spins and spews pea soup when you access the Vatican website.

9. Bill Gates Screen Saver eyes follow your every move.

8. Keeps throwing priests out of Windows.

7. Hard disk crashes every time Pat Robertson e-mails you.

6. Green slime oozing out of keyboard again and your kid hasn’t used it in weeks.

5. Tech support crew brings Norton Utilities and a crucifix.

4. The little logo on it says: “Satan Inside.”

3. No matter what URL you type in, your browser opens up the web site.

2. Dr. Watson replaced by Dr. Kervorkian.

1. Contrary to the startup screen, you’re fairly certain Microsoft hasn’t released Windows 666 yet.

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