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Two guys were sitting at a restaurant talking. The first guy looks at his friend and says, “You know, a funny thing happened to me today at the bus station. I saw this beautiful blonde behind the counter, and instead of saying, ‘I’d like a ticket to Pittsburgh,’ I said, ‘I’d like a picket to breastburgh.’ Then she slapped me right across the face.”

His friend chuckled and said, “Something similar happened to me. I was sitting having dinner with my wife. During the meal I meant to say, ‘Could you pass the peas,’but what I ended up saying was, ‘I should have never married you, you ugly slob!'”

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