Here is your Joke for Wednesday, 06/26/2019

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Here is your Joke for
Wednesday, 06/26/2019

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Why “Sports Scholarship” is an Oxymoron

Why "Sports Scholarship" is an Oxymoron"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."-- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."-- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of…
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Even More Insults!

Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified. You are not as bad as people say -- you are worse! Do you have to leave so soon?...

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A practical joke involving jello

Here's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks...

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Oh the Internet is Slow

The Net is Slow Oh, the network outside is frightful, But on campus, it's so delightful, Our packets have nowhere to go, Net is slow, net is slow, net is slow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, All our packets, our hosts are dropping; Bandwidth is turned way down...

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The Biology Song

A Mad Scientist Christmas Twas the night before Christmas and all thru my house, Not a specimen was stirring, not even a louse. The test tubes were capped and the rat cages closed, The mold cultures fuzzy, the mice in repose. The oven kept warm the ebola and pox, I...

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Snow or Rain?

Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. We, as these things go,...

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Automatic Aeroplane

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their...

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Something Missing

When George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops, there were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember...

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A Great Fruit Cake Recipie

A Great Fruit Cake RecipieYou'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.Sample the whisky to check for...

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Bravest Troops

Top brass from the Army, Navy and Marine Corps were arguing about who had the bravest troops. They decided to settle the dispute using an enlisted man from each branch. The Army General called a private over and ordered him to climb to the top of the base flagpole...

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Wisdom

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a word...

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