Here is your Joke for Friday, 09/25/2020

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Here is your Joke for
Friday, 09/25/2020

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Lawyers I

Lawyers IWhat do lawyers use for birth control?Their personalities.What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?A tick falls off of you when you die.Why does the medical society prohibit sex between lawyers and clients?To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried…
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Alaskan Birthday Party

Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six...

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Biggest Tool

A substitute teacher walks into the classroom on the blackboard she sees a message. It says, "Jimmy Poole, has got the biggest tool, in the whole damn school!" She yells, "Whose Jimmy Poole?" A kid in the back stands up and says, "I'm Jimmy Poole." "Well, Jimmy, your...

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Something Missing

When George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops, there were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about. Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember...

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Snow or Rain?

Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. We, as these things go,...

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Headstone

A mother and son are walking through a cemetery, and pass by a headstone inscribed - "Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man."The little boy reads the headstone, looks up at his mother, and asks "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"

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Automatic Aeroplane

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their...

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Nights Before Christmas

Da nights bepor ChristmasAn all tru da houseNating pasNot eben a mouse.Da children dey nossieall snog on da ploorAn Mama puts newspepperTru da crack on da dor.Den Mama in da stobeRoost up da manukSteer up da adoboAn make bake da biko.Den out on da rudDey got such a...

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Wife’s Panties

Two lawyers are leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one of them. "As soon as I walk in the door, I'm going to rip my wife's panties right off." "I know the feeling," the other says. "No, I'm serious," says the first. "They're killing me."

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Farm Accident

It seems a young farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and eat dinner with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon back up." "That's mighty...

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