You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.”
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey, y’all watch this!”
You’ve got more than one brother named ‘Darryl.’
You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.
You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are, “Gentlemen, start your engines.”
The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas it has in it.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
Ya can’t get married to yer sweetheart
’cause there’s a law against it.
You dated one of your parents’ current spouses in high school.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Your school fight song is “Dueling Banjos.”
Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.