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I was traveling through south Georgia yesterday and noticed a lot of signs saying “pecans ahead.” Wouldn’t “restrooms ahead” be more appropriate?

What do rednecks call duck tape?
Chrome.

An infinite number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great works of literature – in Braille.

I just received Alabama’s new state quarter. It is two dimes and a nickel taped together.

What’s the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?
On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin. A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can’t touch it till she’s fourteen.

What’s the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
Nice tooth!

Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

What do a divorce in Tennessee, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody is fixin’ to lose them a house trailer.

Why do folks from Tennessee go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
17 and under are not admitted.

What do you get when you have 32 Tennesseeians in the same room?
A full set of teeth.

Why did O.J. Simpson want to move the Tennessee?
Everyone there has the same DNA.

Did you hear that the Governors mansion in Tennessee burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.

A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets a divorce
they’re still brother and sister.

You know right away the band Barenaked Ladies is from Canada because if they
were from Georgia, they would be called Buck naked Women.

How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk and say “I’ve gotta leak in my sink” and the person at the front desk says “go ahead.”

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

What do they call “Hee Haw” in Arkansas?
A documentary.

What do they call it in Kentucky?
“Life Styles of the Rich and Famous.”

Why did God invent armadillos?
So that rednecks can have ‘possum on the halfshell.

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