Check out our sponsors


Please contribute, if you like.

1. Work like you don’t need the money.
2. Love like you’ve never been hurt.
3. Dance like no one is watching.
4. Live like every night is Saturday night, and every day is a Sunday.
5. Fart like you are the only one in the elevator.
6. Work like every day is the day before vacation.
7. Urinate like you’ll never get to do it again.
8. Drive like a Mexican free-tailed bat from Hades.
9. Run like somebody’s chasing you.
10. Laugh like you’ve never heard a joke before.
11. Pray like you’re currently falling from a 43-story building.
12. Fornicate like you’re finally not alone!
13. Drive like radar guns weren’t invented.
14. Invest in Internet stocks without any doubts or fears.
15. Teach your children like you are a Professor of life.
16. Coach like none of the players are related to you.
17. Breathe like it is your last.
18. Grin like you just got laid.
19. Boast like your wife is the best lover in the world.
20. Zig-zag like your wife is firing her 38 snub nose at you after finding the video tape of your bachelor party.
21. Spank your child like it was your butt receiving the blows excluding S&M folks.
22. Criticize like it was your work being scruntinized.
23. Trust like you’ve never been betrayed.
24. Forgive like you were forgiven when you messed up.
25. Sing like nobody’s listening.
23. Drive the golf ball like your are hitting off of a cliff into the Pacific Ocean.
24. Watch WWF like it was real.
25. Watch auto racing like you’re not anticipating a 21 car pile up.
26. Watch hockey like you’re not anticipating a boxing match to break out.
27. Watch Baywatch like it was a well-acted drama.
28. Read Playboy like it didn’t have pictures of naked women.
29. Read Playgirl like it didn’t have naked pictures of Brad Pitt.
30. Be hopeful like you are going ot win the Lotto.
31. Play craps like you know what you are doing.
32. Be surprised like a WAC football game ending in a 10-10 tie.
33. Anticipate like a child on Christmas Eve.
34. Give thanks like seeing an old boyfriend who gained 50 pounds and lives with his Mom.
35. Drink water like you just crawled through the Mojave Desert for 6 days.
36. Drink tequila like it won’t ruin the next couple of days.
37. Feast like your colon is hosting a tape worm convention.
38. Watch the NBA like you care.
39. Pay your taxes like you are fearful of prison sex.
40. Listen to your parents like your inheritence depends on it.
41. Live by the Golden Rule like it read “Do unto others before they do it to you”.
42. Treat your spouse like she owns a testicle-pounding wooden mallet and she knows how to use it.
43. Treat your spouse like she is Lorainna Bobbit.
44. Read to your child like it’s the last book you’ll ever read.

Please let us know your favorites and we will add them to the list!

Translate ยป