Business, Food, Men, Politics, Students, Women
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father “Dad,what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow.” The father thought some and said, “Okay, son . The best way I can describe politics is to use...
Animals, Cats, Dieting, Food
Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on humans! Except for cats that eat like people — such as getting lots...
Food, Football, Men, Sports
Four guys were at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Daryl and...
Business, Computers, Drinking, Food, Politics
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted… Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups.9. E Pluribus Modem10. …. File not found. Should I...
Animals, Food, Songs, Students
FOLLOW THESE 14 SIMPLE TESTS BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN: Test 1Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.Men: to prepare for paternity, go to a...
Food, Football, Sports, Women
Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common sense.He turned to...
Dating, Dieting, Dogs, Drinking, Food, Sex, Songs
1. Your potted plants stay alive.2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.5. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.6. You carry an umbrella. You...
Food, Football, Seniors, Sports
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, “Grandfather, are these plates clean?”His grandfather replies, “Those plates...