Murphy’s Work Laws

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go anywhere you want if you look...

I have a Microsoft Waiter

Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.Patron: No, it’s still there.Waiter: Maybe...

Japanese Standard

This speaks a lot about the quality of Japanese products and their quality standards. They’re still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out...

A Guide to Walking Tigers

Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced....

Possible IBM Acronyms

IBM: It’s Being MendedIBM: Immense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It’s Better than Macintosh!IBM: Idiots Built MeIBM: Intense Bowel MovementIBM: Inferior But Marketable?IBM: I’ve Been MisleadIBM: It’s Better ManuallyIBM: Infinitely...

TOP 21 GOOD THINGS ABOUT HELL

21. None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.20. Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.19. Your “Do you smell something burning?” slays ’em, year after year.18. Plenty of legal...

Real Life Dilberts

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest.They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists.1. “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using...

Useless Things

Did you know that a man is made up of many useless things?He has an Adam’s apple that isn’t an apple…Two calves that will never become cows…A nose bridge that doesn’t lead anywhere…A roof of the mouth that won’t cover...

Computer Possessed

The Top 11 Signs Your Computer is Possessed11. Instead of flying appliances, your screen saver shows horned demons torturing your immediate family.10. The monitor spins and spews pea soup when you access the Vatican website.9. Bill Gates Screen Saver eyes follow your...

Apple does it again..

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants.The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 depending on speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough...

Flying in Seattle

A helicopter pilot is flying to Seattle, and hits a pea-soup-thick fog bank. He’s completely disoriented, and flies blindly around until he spies the top few floors of an office building. He pulls up real close to it, and gets the attention of a woman sitting at...
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