Virus Warning: Missus

DescriptionMissus manifests as a female humanoid providing cooking/cleaning features, and a sitting-room/TV it is a remote hijacker, targeted at unsuspecting male humanoids. There may be problems with pop-ups. VariantsGirlfriend 1.0 was the first variant, targeted at...

Is Windows a virus?

With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are begin to ask themselves if windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following.1. Viruses...

Mailing List Users Changing Light Bulbs

Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hundred.1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light...

Error codes in Windows

>WinErr 001: Windows loaded – System in dangerWinErr 002: No Error – YetWinErr 003: Dynamic linking error – Your mistake is now in every fileWinErr 004: Erroneous error – Nothing is wrongWinErr 005: Multitasking attempted – System...

Murphy’s Work Laws

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go anywhere you want if you look...

Floppy Disk Care

For those of use this using floppies…By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes...

I have a Microsoft Waiter

Patron: Waiter!Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I’ll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?Patron: There’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won’t be there this time.Patron: No, it’s still there.Waiter: Maybe...

Japanese Standard

This speaks a lot about the quality of Japanese products and their quality standards. They’re still laughing about this at IBM. Apparently the computer giant decided to have some parts manufactured in Japan as a trial project. In the specifications, they set out...

A Guide to Walking Tigers

Tigers really are as big and poofy and soft as they look, and they purr like a freight train going by. You find this out by taking one for a walk. To take a tiger for a walk, you first need a tiger. Tigers fresh from the bush are not recommended for the inexperienced....

Possible IBM Acronyms

IBM: It’s Being MendedIBM: Immense Ball of MuckIBM: I Believe in MemorexIBM: It’s Better than Macintosh!IBM: Idiots Built MeIBM: Intense Bowel MovementIBM: Inferior But Marketable?IBM: I’ve Been MisleadIBM: It’s Better ManuallyIBM: Infinitely...

TOP 21 GOOD THINGS ABOUT HELL

21. None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.20. Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.19. Your “Do you smell something burning?” slays ’em, year after year.18. Plenty of legal...

Real Life Dilberts

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest.They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists.1. “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using...
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