Cock and…

One day Little Johnny went walking around to check out his surroundings and found a farmer selling chickens. Little Johnny went over to the farmer to see how much he was selling them for. The farmer asked him if he wanted a male or a female. Little Johnny asked for...

The Early Riser

A visitor to a bed-and-breakfast inn in the country awoke early one morning to find the farmer and his family still asleep. Slightly irritated at not having his breakfast even begun yet, he took a glass and went out to the barn to try his hand at milking the cow...

The Traffic Ticket

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket,...

Economy Stimulus Package

In a small town in the United States, the place looks almost totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the town’s only hotel, lays a $100 Dollar Bill on the...

Service

I became confused when I heard the word ‘service’ used with these agencies.Internal Revenue ‘Service’Postal ‘Service’Telephone ‘Service’Cable TV ‘Service’Civil ‘Service’ State, City, County and...

Volunteer Fire Truck

A fire started on some grasslands near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called. Despite some doubt that the volunteer...

Mr. Potato Head had 3 Daughters

The first daughter came home and said she was going to marry a potato farmer from Maine.Her father was very pleased, and said, “Make plenty of french fries.”The second daughter came home and said she was going to marry a potato farmer from Idaho.Her father...

More English!

No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn. I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all!There was a row among the oarsmen about to row.They were too close to the door to close it.The buck does funny things when the does are present.To help...

Excess

A farmer’s wife was at her lawyer’s getting advice about a divorce. “He makes excessive sexual demands on me, Mr. Jones.””How do you mean?””Well, Mr. Jones,” says the farmer’s wife, “this morning I was...

Report

A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to write a human interest story. He went into the mountains to do some research. There, he found an old farmer sitting on his porch, introduced himself, and explained his mission. The young man...

Yummy Pig

A farmer was in the pub bragging about his pig. “That animal saved my life twice,” he said. “Once I fell into the river and he jumped in and dragged me to the bank. Another time my house caught on fire and he ran in and saved me, the wife and...

In Texas

One day in Texas, an Aggie, Texas Techster, and a Texas Longhorn were walking along the beach when a bottle washed ashore. After picking it up, they rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie granted each of them a wish for setting him free.The Techster went first....

Star Trek Jokes I

Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?A: TWO: One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?A: NONE: Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.Q: What do...

City Boy

There was a city boy who had just moved into the country. He went walking around to check out his surroundings and found a farmer selling chickens. The city boy went over to the farmer to see how much he was selling them for. The farmer asked him if he wanted a male...

Short Ones V

Why is a hooker like a chicken farmer?Both earn a living raising cocks.How do you protect yourself from fallout?Put it back in and take shorter strokes.What do you call a hooker with a chipped tooth?A meat grinder.What do tampons and eye drops have in common?They both...

Close Encounters Of The Kinky Kind

Farmer Brown and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon arriving, Farmer Brown and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two...

Just a Bit

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison.With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and...

Potty!

A young man visited his sister who was married to a farmer in a poor district of the country. Since there were limited accomodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew. When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw the little boy kneeling at the side...

Two Guys and a Hole

Two guys were walking down a dirt road when they come upon a hole.They look in it and one said “Can you see the bottom?”The other replies “Nope.” So they start tossing rocks in it to hear how long it takes to hit the bottom. One turns to the...

Fertilizer

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?””Fertilizer,” the farmer replied.”What are you going to do with...
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