Doctors, Men, Nurses, Patients
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.Calling out to the...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients
A doctor is making his rounds in the hospital when he comes upon a guy with the worst case of sunburn he has ever seen. The poor guy is burnt raw from head to toe and is in agony. He says to the doctor, “Is there anything you can give me to ease this terrible...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.The doctor takes the three...
Business, Doctors, Food, Nurses, Patients
1. You work for an acronym, on an acronym, and your job title is an acronym. 2. You can name the project leader of more than 10 projects including your own, but still can’t explain in the simplest terms what they do. 3. The process becomes more important than...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients, Santa Clause, Women
Santa picked up his wife Jeeto and their new baby from the hospital and brought them home.It was not long before Jeeto suggested that Santa try his hand at changing a diaper.”I’m busy,” he said. “I promise I’ll do the next one.”The...
Business, Doctors, Nurses, Patients
Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarette.BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your leg is waterlogged and rots off.BASIC...
Business, Doctors, Nurses, Patients
It’s the first of April, and Joe is out of town on business. He returns home to find out that his wife is at the hospital in labor having their first child.He rushes to the hospital, and goes to his wife’s side. She has already had the child. He goes to...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients
Two Fools are about to go FlyingTwo morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.Laying next...
Business, Doctors, Drinking, Nurses, Patients
This simple five question test will help determine how drunk you really are. Begin by answering each of the five questions below truthfully. Then determine your score based on question answer values provided. Lastly, compare your score to the results for a final...
Doctors, Men, Nurses, Patients
A guy thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive.His hallucination became a real problem for his family and they finally took him to see a psychiatrist. After spending many laborious sessions trying to convince the guy he was still alive, the...
Business, Doctors, Nurses, Patients
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been...
Doctors, Men, Nurses, Patients, Women
A man approached his family physician and said, “Doc, I’m afraid you’ll have to remove my wife’s tonsils one of these days.” The doctor pulled out the family’s medical file and exclaimed, “Why, I removed them six years ago!...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients
Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe, as it happens, near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob could barely see 20 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car...
Doctors, Men, Nurses, Patients
Tom’s Scrotum – The Best Story of the Year The best story of the year doesn’t give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife. The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients
Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients
A man walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He replied, “I got shingles.”She said, “Fill out this form and supply your name, address, medical insurance number. When you’re done, please take a...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients, Religion
–> The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.–> Tonight’s sermon-“What is hell?” Come early and listen to our choir...
Business, Doctors, Nurses, One Liners, Patients, Religion, Silly Sayings
In the offices of a loan company: “Ask about our plans for owning your home.” In a classified ad: “Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.” In a New York medical building: “Mental Health Prevention Center” On a New York...
Doctors, Dogs, Nurses, Patients, Religion
* Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.* The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.* The sermon this morning: Jesus...
Dentists, Doctors, Drinking, Engineers, Holidays, Men, Nurses, Patients
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! ************ ********* *********** The year is 1911One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics for the Year 1911: ************ ********* ************ The average life expectancy for...
