Business, Politics, Women
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If...
Business, Politics, US President
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by...
Business, Computers, Internet, Politics, US President
Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency, Washington, DC (AP) Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to China as of July 1, 2020. The move is being made in order to save the President’s $500,000...
Business, Computers, Drinking, Food, Politics
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted… Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y’all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don’ *NEED* no steenking backups.9. E Pluribus Modem10. …. File not found. Should I...
Animals, Cowboys, Dogs, Internet, Politics
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the...
Animals, Politics, Students
The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder...
Lawyers, Politics, Religion
What’s the difference between Darth Maul, Darth Vader, and Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies?None. They’ve yet to open their own law firm.What do lawyers follow?The Dark side of the Force.Mark Twain said: “We have no professional criminal...
Dentists, Doctors, Patients, Politics
Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard...
Business, Drinking, Politics
Can you imagine working for the following company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics: – 29 have been accused of spousal abuse. – 7 have been arrested for fraud- 19 have been accused of passing bad checks. – 117 have...
Animals, Fishing, Marriage, Poems and Rhymes, Politics, Taxes
At first I thought this was funny…then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his work, Tax his...
Doctors, Nurses, Patients, Politics, Religion, Students, Teachers
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton1 millionth mouthwash = 1 microscopeSpeed of a tortoise breaking the...
