The Recession is Having an Impact on Everyone

My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced. I saw a Mormon with only one wife. If...

Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) – Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by President John Kerry shortly after its passage, is being hailed as a major victory by...

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his...

Kidnapped Congress

Downtown DC, January 1st, a driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?””Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are...

Snail Jokes

A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back.The host asks him, “And what are you?”The man says, “I’m a snail.”The host says, “And who’s that on your back?”And the man says, “That’s Michelle!”What...

Actual quotes from (actual) Texas politicians:

Actual quotes from (actual) Texas politicians:* “Let’s do this in one foul sweep.” – Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton* “This is unparalyzed in the state’s history.” – Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis* “I want to...

Somewhere in CA

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the...

A Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens…

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder...

More Lawyer Jokes

What’s the difference between Darth Maul, Darth Vader, and Emperor Palpatine in the Star Wars movies?None. They’ve yet to open their own law firm.What do lawyers follow?The Dark side of the Force.Mark Twain said: “We have no professional criminal...

Civics Test

If you find twenty dollars lying in the middle of the road, would you:(A. Give it to an honest lawyer,(B. Give it to an honest politician,(C. Keep it.The correct answer is:(C. Keep it because there’s no such thing as an honest lawyer or an honest...

New Republican Health Care Bill

Q. What does HMO stand for?A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, “Hey, Moe!” Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard...

Cannibal Jokes

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”That reminds me of the cannibal that passed his friend in the woods…..When do cannibals leave the table? When everyone’s eaten…….What is a...

Caca

A Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the he turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’ The little girl, who had just opened...

Can you Imagine?

Can you imagine working for the following company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics: – 29 have been accused of spousal abuse. – 7 have been arrested for fraud- 19 have been accused of passing bad checks. – 117 have...

Tax Time Poem

At first I thought this was funny…then I realized the awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table At which he’s fed. Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes Are the rule. Tax his work, Tax his...

Far off

The pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away, his full annually benefits PLUS $10,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general’s...
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