Animals, Dogs, Holidays, Men, Pigs, Religion, Seniors
Da nights bepor ChristmasAn all tru da houseNating pasNot eben a mouse.Da children dey nossieall snog on da ploorAn Mama puts newspepperTru da crack on da dor.Den Mama in da stobeRoost up da manukSteer up da adoboAn make bake da biko.Den out on da rudDey got such a...
Business, Lawyers, Men, Seniors
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is the express degree you told me about?” “It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon,...
Golf, Men, Religion, Seniors, Sports
Two golfers were waiting their turn on the tee when a naked woman ran across the fairway and into the woods. Two men in white coats and another guy carrying two buckets of sand were chasing her, and a little old man was bringing up the rear. One of the golfers asked...
Golf, Men, Religion, Seniors, Sports
An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of...
Animals, Business, Engineers, Lawyers, Men, Seniors
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled...
Holidays, Religion, Seniors, Students, Teachers
Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parent’s house. Shul Gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning. Would like to take you out Saturday night. Please write. Couch potato latke, in...
Dating, Drinking, Marriage, Rednecks, Seniors, Students
Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.Your dad is also your favorite uncle.Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.You’re a lite beer...
Business, Computers, Food, Seniors, US President
A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest.They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists.1. “As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using...
Business, Programmers, Seniors
I work for a small software company with approximately fifty employees. My Boss was the company’s third employee. At a meeting with a potential client, our team introduced our-selves one by one. When it was my Boss’ turn, he said, “I’ve been...
