Guys Suck

GUYS SUCK…… and let me tell you why.FARTING – How come it’s cool for you to do it and disgusting if we do it. And must you lift your leg?JOCK-ITCH – Get help! Do you see us scratch? We don’t want to see you scratch either.PORNOS...

The Country Girl is a Virgin

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents’ house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking they came upon the 2 horses that were mating....

50 Rules To Be a Man II

(50 more ways to keep your Testosterone flowing)51. It is never your duty to take responsibility for your actions.52. Create new words and phrases to describe genitalia, sex, semen, etc.53. Complain about not getting any mail. When people FINALLY feel sorry for you...

The Habit

“When I see a monk’s ass I just grab it.”Said the lazily amorous abbot.”Although it’s more fun,To have sex with a nun,It’s so hard to get into the habit!”

New Sex Position

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.””Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is...

Something Wrong

The high school, blonde and bosomy cheerleader confessed to her kindly old Priest that she’d often have sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car.”Now my daughter,” consoled the Priest, “I’m sure if you think about it,...

In the Mud?

A hillbilly and his wife are having sex in a muddy corn field one evening. The hillbilly asks, “Honey, could you check to see if it’s in you or if it’s in the mud?”She reaches down and checks. “It’s in the mud,” she tells...

Win/Lose

Why is giving a Blow Job a win/lose situation?He may have you on your knees, but you have him by the balls!

Does This Sex Count?

Some ground rules to help people determine if the sex counted. This list of rules can also be very helpful to determine if you have cheated on your spouse or significant other.Oral Sex does not count.If you can’t remember the person’s name the following...

Bad Job

A princess is walking along when she looks down and sees an ugly frog. She picks it up and says, “My, but you’re a really ugly frog.”The frog says, “I know, I know. I got a really bad spell put on me.”The princess says,...

New College Survey

According to a new survey, 58% of male college students say they don’t believe in sex without love. … Apparently the other 42% told the truth.

Honeymoon is Over

Here are the key indicators of when the honeymoon period has finished.1. AddictionsBefore: You tell her you don’t mind the occasional cold beer on a hot day with your mates, and that you’ve taken recreational drugs but those days are well and truly...

Not Men Bashing

This is for men tired of receiving male-bashing jokesHow many men does it take to open a beer?None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine...

Detachable Penis

Things To Do With A Detachable Penis 1. Take it for a ride on it’s very own set of training wheels. 2. Slip it into a bun and give new meaning to “Hot Dog.” 3. Wave it in front of John Bobbitt and scream “She’s at it again!” 4. Use...

Ultimate Pick-up Line!

Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I’m kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you’re giving me your number because I’m too shy to ask for it.I finally get up the...

Shampoo and …

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?”Then, my face was really turned red!

British!

An elderly man was walking through the French countryside, admiring the beautiful spring day, when over a hedgerow he spotted a young couple making love in a field. Getting over his initial shock he said to himself, “Ah, young love… ze spring time, ze air,...

Instructions for Life

1. Give people less, make them think it’s more and take the rest.2. Memorize your favorite dirty joke.3. Believe all you hear, spend all you have, sleep all you want..4. When you say, “I love you”, do it to get sex.5. When you say, “I’m...
EnglishEspañolPortuguêsDeutschFrançaisItalianoРусский한국어日本語简体中文العربية