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Happy 4th of July 2010

What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?The Americans licked the British!Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?Because the horse was too heavy to carry!Why did the British cross the Atlantic?To get to the other tide!What do you call a parade...
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Making Back To School More Fun

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid,...
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Idiots Stand Up

“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up,” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.”Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” inquired the teacher with a...
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Shop Class

What’s the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?” the shop teacher asked Judy, the only girl in the shop class during the first day of school.Judy pondered the question for a moment, then replied,”Well, I can’t rightly say as I know,...
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Baby Brother

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no...
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Math

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class.She called on him and said, “Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?”Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!”
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How Lucky

Little Johnny sat obediently as his mother explained how lucky their family was. Then she told him just why, “Johnny, you will soon be a big brother.”The next day, Johnny ran to his teacher with the good news. “Miss, my mum got lucky last night and...
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Yankees Fans

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Yankees fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Yankees fans.Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says,...
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No b’fast!

“Why do you look so glum today?” the teacher asked young Johnny.”I didn’t have breakfast,” Johnny mumbled.”You poor dear,” said the teacher. “Now, to return to our geography lesson, Johnny, where is the French...
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Twice

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful...
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What they say…

A father was explaining the facts of life to his teenage son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking:Dad: One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the sex act, even if you are doing...
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Animal Game

One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?”Sally holds up her hand and asks...
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101

One day in a college sex education class the teacher decides to find out how many sexual positions the people in his class know. So he asks the girl in front how many positions do she know?She says, “9”, from the back of the room he hears...
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Gender of the Computer?

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like chalk or pencil, she described, would have a gender association although in English these words...
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What do you Call Them

A third grade school teacher was trying to explain to her class the difference between singular and plural.She said, “What do you call it if one woman looks out a window?”Little Charlotte said, “Singular.”The teacher said, “What do you...
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No Racism

One day, in a South African school, the teacher came very upset into the classroom and started to shout: “I don’t understand anything! What’s all about this black and white thing? We gotta stop racism in any way!! What’s this with blacks and...
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Pussy

At school one day the teacher heard cat noises coming from the class, and she discovered little Jimmy with a cat up his jumper. She said, “Why have you got your cat at school?”Little Jimmy started crying. “I woke up this morning to hear the postman...
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Sunday School Lesson

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal. She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces and laid it upon the altar. And then Elijah commanded the people of...
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Swearing

The little boy was caught swearing by his teacher.”Jeffrey Alan!,” she said, “you shouldn’t use that kind of language. Where did you hear it?””My daddy said it,” he responded.”Well, that doesn’t matter,” she...
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An Orgy?

Little Johnnie was in his math class one day when the teacher singled him out.”If I gave you $200,” the teacher began, “and you gave $50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would you have?””An orgy?” Johnnie replied with a...
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