Business, Food, Men, Politics, Students, Women
Little Johnny came home from school one day and said to his father “Dad,what can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow.” The father thought some and said, “Okay, son . The best way I can describe politics is to use...
Animals, Business, Doctors, Dogs, Men, One Liners, Poems and Rhymes, Silly Sayings, Women
Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you. It’s your life — but I wish you’d let us have it. Hey, act your age — senile! I’ve had...
Business, Food, Men, Religion, Students, Teachers, Women
A ten-year-old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school. After the first day, the boy’s parents were...
Business, Computers, Drinking, Women
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go anywhere you want if you look...
Animals, Business, One Liners, Women
If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If you don’t want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately. Is your name Laryngitis? You’re a pain in the neck. Is your name Dan Druff?...
Dating, Salesmen, Students, Women
Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires.Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states.Cadillac Eldorado – I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.Cadillac Seville – I am a pimp.Chevrolet Camaro – I enjoy beating up...
Holidays, Men, Religion, Students, Women
“Equal” is not always synonymous with “the same.” Men and women are created equal. But, boys and girls are not born the same.1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to...