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(Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”)

Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’,

From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’,

I’m happy — although

My boss let me go —

Happily addicted to the Web.

All night long, I sit clicking,

Unaware time is ticking,

There’s beard on my cheek,

Same clothes for a week,

Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, “Yo, man!

Don’t you know tonight’s the senior prom?”

With a listless shrug, I mutter “No, man;

I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!”

I don’t phone, don’t send faxes,

Don’t go out, don’t pay taxes,

Who cares if someday

They drag me away?

I’m happily addicted to the Web!

Happ-ilyyyyy, ad-dict-eeeed to the Weeeeeb!!! (Yeah!)

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