An Army chaplain, walking through a notorious section of town, saw a soldier exiting a known house of prostitution. The soldier paused on the sidewalk and gestured with his right hand in a manner familiar to the good Catholic chaplain.
The chaplain promptly approached the errant soldier, saying, “I’m sorry to see a good Catholic lad like you, coming out of a place like that.”
“Well, padre, I’m not Catholic,” answered the GI.
“But I clearly saw you cross yourself as you came out of there.”
“No – but when I come out of a place like that, I always check four things: My spectacles, my testicles, my watch and my wallet.”